Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

#year #numbers #students #move #country #education #development

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Lately

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Lately,

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there have been foreign cultures that often enter

Indonesia

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. Some people think that foreign cultures that enter

Indonesia

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have a negative influence on

society

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. In my opinion, foreign

culture

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that enters

Indonesia

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also

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has a positive impact on

society

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, First of all exposure to foreign

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culture

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cultures

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can increase the level

our

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of our

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critical thinking We should be able to be more critical and

also

Linking Words

careful about some new things that come from outside

as well as

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find ways to filter whether these things can have a positive or negative impact on our lives and ourselves.

Secondly

Linking Words

, studying foreign cultures can certainly add to our knowledge and experience. Starting from language, and traditional clothing, to the habits of people from other regions.

Lastly

Linking Words

, modern thinking can start with having an opinion. In

Indonesia

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, expressing one’s opinion is still often considered

unfavorable

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unfavourable

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Therefore

Linking Words

, introducing

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apply

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freedom of expression in

Indonesia

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can make people more inclined to express their opinions.

Therefore

Linking Words

foreign

culture

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that enters

Indonesia

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will not always hurt

society

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, with a foreign

culture

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that enters

Indonesia

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it can make us think more critically, improve cultural and international knowledge and

finally

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the mindset of

society

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becomes more advanced to support modernism.

Submitted by syaaakhansa on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that the introduction more clearly outlines the essay's stance and main points, helping to guide the reader.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations, examples, and a concluding sentence to enhance logical structure and flow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the essay's cohesion and make transitions between ideas smoother.

Task Achievement

Address the essay prompt more directly in the introduction and conclusion, making sure your position is clear from the beginning.

Task Achievement

Expand on examples and evidence to support your main points. This strengthens the argument and shows a deeper understanding of the topic.

Task Achievement

Make sure to directly address the question asked, ensuring that your essay remains focused on the topic of foreign cultures entering Indonesia and its impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

199 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
personal development
exposure
global perspective
higher quality education
specialized programs
research facilities
enriching
career prospects
international experience
cross-cultural competencies
competitive job market
culture shock
isolation
mental health
academic performance
brain drain
educated workforce

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Each year Increasing numbers of students are deciding to move to a different country for higher education. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Fully explain your ideas

It has been suggested that everyone in the world want to own a car,a tv and fridge. Do you think the disadvantages of such a development outweighs??

Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking and helps people quit smoking, while others think that e-cigarettes are harmful and may lead to vapers becoming smokers in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.