A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In
this
contemporary era, some individuals are said that the person who are owns
properties and Change the verb form
owns
they
lifestyle and moment can Correct pronoun usage
their
assessed
how much Change the verb form
assess
be assessed
their
successful. Replace the word
they're
they are
In contrast
, traditional perspectives such
as humble
, politeness and gratitude Replace the word
humility
are became
not Wrong verb form
have
paramount
like Add a missing verb
been paramount
Change preposition
in that
that
past. In my standpoint, Correct determiner usage
the
i
do not agree with Capitalize word
I
this
point of view. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
sincearly
and good personalities are the main factors to Correct your spelling
sincerely
be get
esteemed from the society.
On the one hand, Change the verb form
get
people
said that the financial how much they earns
and what they Change the verb form
earn
owns
Change the verb form
own
such
as houses, cars and planes which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
mean
they achieve the respect Correct subject-verb agreement
means
from
the community. Change preposition
of
Fix the agreement mistake
This
These
mentality is completely wrong because Correct determiner usage
This
Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
Correct article usage
a
the
person who Correct article usage
a
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
have
no sympathy and Correct subject-verb agreement
has
pathetic
can not Add a missing verb
is pathetic
take
Verb problem
achieve
Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
Add a hyphen
long-term
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
Replace the word
success
successful
Replace the word
success
while
the achievement is estiblished
on Correct your spelling
established
Correct article usage
apply
the
honour and trust. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, dishonour people
can get the trustworty
Correct your spelling
trust
by
the clients and Change preposition
of
consumer
, which Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
mean
not Correct subject-verb agreement
means
the
all things can bought with money Remove the article
apply
such
as good
personality.
Correct article usage
a good
On the other hand
, some conventional values is deserve
to Change the verb form
deserve
cherish
and Wrong verb form
be cherished
share
Wrong verb form
shared
to
Change preposition
with
our
next generations. Because it is Change the word
the
a
inestimable ability to Change the article
an
survival
in Replace the word
survive
this
worsen
world. Wrong verb form
worsened
However
, in this
new era
a lot of immoral and inpolite Add a comma
era,
people
are ruin
Wrong verb form
ruining
out
world Correct your spelling
our
thus
parents and education
Replace the word
educational
institution
have to take Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
to
Change preposition
for
delivery
Replace the word
delivering
the
knowledge about Correct article usage
apply
the
ethical mental development. Correct article usage
apply
Consequently
, can leads
offspring Wrong verb form
lead
have
awareness about Fix the infinitive
to have
the
humanity Correct article usage
apply
how
to be a decent Correct word choice
and how
person
to Fix the agreement mistake
people
contribution
to Replace the word
contribute
the
society.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
rich
and Correct article usage
the rich
own
properties are not the main Wrong verb form
owning
perspective
to get worship from the Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
people
since the world is need
Change the verb form
needs
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
had
good Change the verb form
to have
personality
rather than just Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
wealthy
in materials.Add a missing verb
being wealthy
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on
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structure & clarity
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to improve coherence. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
cohesion
Work on using a range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, discourse markers) appropriately to link your ideas more clearly throughout the essay.
task response
Address the task directly and ensure that your position is clear and maintained throughout the essay. Both sides of the argument should be presented if the question requires before stating your own opinion.
support & development
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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