Write about the following topic: The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Over more than two decades, the
internet
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industry
grew
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has grown
show examples
significantly and brought
a
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apply
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plenty of benefits
in
Change preposition
to
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our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Anyway, some people believe that
this
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progress has
downside
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a downside
show examples
effect as well. I would like to discuss both
point
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points
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of
views
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view
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in my essay. Notably,
the
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apply
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most of the
internet
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traffic being sent
,
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apply
show examples
is related to the communication between people and systems. It gives
the
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apply
show examples
flexibility in getting
the
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apply
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deals, saving a lot of time, and
as a result
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, making
human's
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human
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productivity much
effective
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more effective
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compared to the world without the web. As an example, we can consider the post office service. It took
enormous
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an enormous
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amount of time to deliver the mail to the address,
whereas
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,
nowaday
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nowadays
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it takes up to one minute
ar
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or
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even less. I definitely
suppor
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support
this
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statement and use the power of
this
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technology every single day.
On the other hand
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, it is hard not to agree with the claim that the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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has
a drawbacks
Correct the article-noun agreement
drawbacks
a drawback
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. The networking service and media grow in an unregulated way, which is ok and it is
key
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a key
the key
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driver for the industry to develop
overall
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. But, it leads to
the
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a
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situation, where anyone can
spead
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spread
any type of content with
a harmful information
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harmful information
a piece of harmful information
show examples
. Even worse,
this
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information may not be true.
Consequently
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, a lot of young people, children, consuming
such
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data, start to believe in what they have seen and mimic some actions which are
the
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apply
show examples
potential danger
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potentially dangerous
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for
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to
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their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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and health. In conclusion, I am not
agains
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against
the progress and plusses the
internet
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gives us and I do agree it is
necessary
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a necessary
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part of our day-to-day
existance
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existence
.
Nevertheless
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, we should not forget about filtering
of
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apply
show examples
the things and threads the industry incorporates.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, make sure to address all parts of the prompt more comprehensively. While you discuss both views and your own opinion, ensure that each view and your opinion are equally developed and clear.
Coherence and Cohesion
For your essay's coherence and cohesion, it's beneficial to explicitly use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. While you have a logical flow, making these connections more explicit will enhance readability and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
To further support your main points, incorporate a wider range of examples and evidence. Though you've included some examples, diversifying and elaborating on these will strengthen your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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