IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The parents of your Australlan friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for himlher. Write a letter to Chris's parents. In your letter • say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party •explain why you won't be able to attend the party •give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time.

#parents #australlan #friend #chris #surprise #birthday #party #himlher #•explain #•give #plan #time
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Hello my Dear I am writing to inform you that It is a good idea to invite me to surprise
Chris
 during her
birthday
party
 . I would like to say that it is a more interesting and miraculous decision to have a nice
birthday
party
. I think
Chris
 will enjoy the surprise
party
 because She never believed that I would be at her
birthday
 celebration. Unfortunately I will not be able to attend the
party
 reason for now I am preparing for the
exam
 for University. That
exam
 is essential for me because it is my unique chance to study at that university. My
exam
 day is the same day as
Chris
's
birthday
party
. I promise you when I pass my
exam
 I will come to you and we celebrate together her
birthday
. I will be
next
Rephrase
there next
show examples
 day for
Chris
's
birthday
party
. Please that news does not tell my friend because I want to that be a surprise. Thanks that you
relise
Correct your spelling
realise
 to me and see you soon. Thanks Zohrab
Submitted by zohrab-gevorgyan on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your score in task achievement, ensure your letter fully addresses all three bullet points provided in the prompt. You've made a solid attempt, but providing more detailed and specific information for each point could strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better grade in coherence and cohesion, strive for a clear organization of your ideas. Consider using separate paragraphs for each main idea you're discussing, which helps the reader follow your points more easily. Additionally, employing linking words or phrases ('Moreover', 'However', 'Consequently') can improve the flow between ideas.
Greeting and Closing
Improving your greeting and closing can also enhance your score. The greeting 'Hello my Dear' is somewhat casual and vague. Opt for a more specific and slightly formal tone suitable for writing to the parents of a friend, such as 'Dear Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]'. For the closing, 'Thanks' is adequate, but 'Yours sincerely' followed by your name would be more appropriate for this context.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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