The parents of your Australlan friend Chris have invited you to a surprise birthday party for himlher. Write a letter to Chris's parents. In your letter • say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party •explain why you won't be able to attend the party •give details of a plan to see Chris at a different time.

#parents #australlan #friend #chris #surprise #birthday #party #himlher #•explain #•give #plan #time

Hello my Dear I am writing to inform you that It is a good idea to invite me to surprise

Chris

during her

birthday

party

. I would like to say that it is a more interesting and miraculous decision to have a nice

birthday

party

. I think

Chris

will enjoy the surprise

party

because She never believed that I would be at her

birthday

celebration. Unfortunately I will not be able to attend the

party

reason for now I am preparing for the

exam

for University. That

exam

is essential for me because it is my unique chance to study at that university. My

exam

day is the same day as

Chris

birthday

party

. I promise you when I pass my

exam

I will come to you and we celebrate together her

birthday

. I will be

Rephrase

there next

show examples

day for

Chris

birthday

party

. Please that news does not tell my friend because I want to that be a surprise. Thanks that you

relise

Correct your spelling

realise

to me and see you soon. Thanks Zohrab

Submitted by zohrab-gevorgyan on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your score in task achievement, ensure your letter fully addresses all three bullet points provided in the prompt. You've made a solid attempt, but providing more detailed and specific information for each point could strengthen your response.

Coherence and Cohesion

For a better grade in coherence and cohesion, strive for a clear organization of your ideas. Consider using separate paragraphs for each main idea you're discussing, which helps the reader follow your points more easily. Additionally, employing linking words or phrases ('Moreover', 'However', 'Consequently') can improve the flow between ideas.

Greeting and Closing

Improving your greeting and closing can also enhance your score. The greeting 'Hello my Dear' is somewhat casual and vague. Opt for a more specific and slightly formal tone suitable for writing to the parents of a friend, such as 'Dear Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]'. For the closing, 'Thanks' is adequate, but 'Yours sincerely' followed by your name would be more appropriate for this context.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

171 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.

Many countries are experiencing serious problems with their environment, with pollution of their land, water, and air. What are these problems and how might they be reduced?

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can be done to help the poor?