some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many individuals argue that males and females have different qualities in certain
jobs
which are for each of them. this
writer agrees that some jobs
are suitable for men
and others for women
.
It is a fact that men
have a lot of different qualities from women
qualities. due to
males being stronger, having
physical Correct word choice
and having
body
more Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
good
than females. Correct word choice
apply
for example
, male muscles are bigger and developed
better than females. so, some Wrong verb form
develop
jobs
need using strength more than using brain or skill. so in some cases, men
are suitable for some jobs
such
as construction,lumber,etc.
Turning to the other side, women
don't have strength and durability so they aren't as good as men
in heavy jobs
. but women
are developed , mostly about imagining, creating and skill. therefore
, many jobs
are suitable for women
but not for men
such
as artists, content creators,etc.
In conclusion, men
are suitable for certain jobs
, as well as
women
, however
, with practice, and interest, people can do any job they want no matter about gender.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
A clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion would enhance the essay. Try to open with a more engaging introduction, explicitly state your thesis, and conclude by summarizing your key points.
cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in linking ideas and arguments coherently.
task response
Address the task by directly responding to the question asked. Include a specific thesis statement and develop your argument. Avoid making general statements without clear examples or explanations.
language use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. Avoid repetition of words and phrases. This shows language proficiency and helps in expressing ideas more effectively.
accuracy
Check your essay for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Accurate use of grammar and correct spelling are crucial for clear communication of ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?