IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many individuals argue that males and females have different qualities in certain
jobs
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 which are for each of them.
this
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 writer agrees that some
jobs
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 are suitable for
men
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 and others for
women
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. It is a fact that
men
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 have a lot of different qualities from
women
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 qualities.
due to
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 males being stronger,
having
Correct word choice
and having
show examples
 physical
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 more
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
than females.
for example
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, male muscles are bigger and
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
 better than females. so, some
jobs
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 need using strength more than using brain or skill. so in some cases,
men
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 are suitable for some
jobs
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such
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 as construction,lumber,etc. Turning to the other side,
women
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 don't have strength and durability so they aren't as good as
men
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 in heavy
jobs
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. but
women
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 are developed , mostly about imagining, creating and skill.
therefore
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, many
jobs
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 are suitable for
women
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 but not for
men
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such
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 as artists, content creators,etc. In conclusion,
men
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 are suitable for certain
jobs
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,
as well as
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women
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,
however
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, with practice, and interest, people can do any job they want no matter about gender.

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structure
A clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion would enhance the essay. Try to open with a more engaging introduction, explicitly state your thesis, and conclude by summarizing your key points.
cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in linking ideas and arguments coherently.
task response
Address the task by directly responding to the question asked. Include a specific thesis statement and develop your argument. Avoid making general statements without clear examples or explanations.
language use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. Avoid repetition of words and phrases. This shows language proficiency and helps in expressing ideas more effectively.
accuracy
Check your essay for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Accurate use of grammar and correct spelling are crucial for clear communication of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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