Some people think that men and women have different qualities,there fore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Each person will have a different quality,so there will be
jobs
that are more suitable for men
and there will also
be jobs
that are more suitable for women
.Persomally
,I Correct your spelling
Personally
donot
agree with Correct your spelling
do not
don't
this
point of view>This
essay will discuss my view specific reason
and examples.
Every individual can follow their dream Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
jobs
,irrespective of gender.Nowadays,in modern society,Fix the agreement mistake
job
both
men
and women
can learn with similar education and opportunities to develop.Moreover
,many places rely on certification and the ability to find employees.No
quality and discrimination are a barrier that limits each person’s development.
Nowadays,the development of machines will reduce the advantages of Correct your spelling
employees
men
’s health,and heavy work suitable for men
will disappear .And those jobs
will be done by machines a robot
in the near future.Fix the agreement mistake
robots
Jobs
suitable for men
will
will decrease and be replaced by Verb problem
apply
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
both
genders Change preposition
for both
such
as programming or tour guide jobs
.
Of course,there will be some people who will have the opposite opinion.Foe
example,in Correct your spelling
For
jobs
require
physical strength,Correct pronoun usage
that require
women
will not be able to keep to
with Change preposition
up
men
,and in jobs
the
require care and patience,Correct your spelling
that
women
will have an
Correct article usage
apply
advantages
because most Correct the article-noun agreement
advantage
men
ted
to be angry.Correct your spelling
tend
This
view may correct
,but many studies now show that when Add a missing verb
be correct
both
genders work togethere
,it creates a more inclusive and diverse environment.Because Correct your spelling
together
both
ends have different strengthand
Correct your spelling
strength and
weakness
,they can Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
suppot
each other to develop and improve.
In conclusion,it is necessary to think differently about Correct your spelling
support
men
and women
in the workplace because individuals have the right to freedom and education to pursue their career dream
.Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
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coherence cohesion
Your essay structure needs improvement. Consider starting with a more defined introduction that clearly states your viewpoint. Follow this with body paragraphs that each introduce a single point in support of your argument. Conclude by summarizing your points and restating your stance in a clear, concise manner.
task achievement
Develop your points with more detailed explanations and specific examples. You've mentioned ideas such as the impact of machinery on job suitability and the benefit of teamwork across genders but did not explore these with depth or provide concrete examples.
general
Watch for spelling and grammar errors, which can detract from your overall message. Phrases like 'Persomally' and 'No quality and discrimination,' are confusing. Use spell check and read your essay aloud to catch errors.
coherence cohesion
Improving your coherence and cohesion can be achieved by linking your ideas more clearly. Use transition phrases between sentences and paragraphs. This will guide the reader through your argument in a more fluid manner.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address the prompt given. While you express disagreement with traditional gender roles in the workplace, elaborating more on why and how both genders can equally excel in all professions will make your response more complete.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.