Some people think that men and women have different qualities,there fore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #men #women #qualities #fore #jobs

Each person will have a different quality,so there will be

jobs

that are more suitable for

men

and there will

also

jobs

that are more suitable for

women

Persomally

Correct your spelling

Personally

donot

Correct your spelling

do not

don't

agree with

this

point of view>

This

essay will discuss my view specific

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

and examples. Every individual can follow their dream

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

,irrespective of gender.Nowadays,in modern society,

both

men

and

women

can learn with similar education and opportunities to develop.

Moreover

,many places rely on certification and the ability to find

employees.No

Correct your spelling

employees

quality and discrimination are a barrier that limits each person’s development. Nowadays,the development of machines will reduce the advantages of

men

’s health,and heavy work suitable for

men

will disappear .And those

jobs

will be done by machines a

robot

Fix the agreement mistake

robots

show examples

in the near future.

Jobs

suitable for

men

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

will decrease and be replaced by

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

both

Change preposition

for both

show examples

genders

such

as programming or tour guide

jobs

. Of course,there will be some people who will have the opposite opinion.

Foe

Correct your spelling

For

show examples

example,in

jobs

require

Correct pronoun usage

that require

show examples

physical strength,

women

will not be able to keep

Change preposition

show examples

with

men

,and in

jobs

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

require care and patience,

women

will have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advantages

Correct the article-noun agreement

advantage

show examples

because most

men

ted

Correct your spelling

tend

show examples

to be angry.

This

view may

correct

Add a missing verb

be correct

show examples

,but many studies now show that when

both

genders work

togethere

Correct your spelling

together

,it creates a more inclusive and diverse environment.Because

both

ends have different

strengthand

Correct your spelling

strength and

weakness

Fix the agreement mistake

weaknesses

show examples

,they can

suppot

Correct your spelling

support

each other to develop and improve. In conclusion,it is necessary to think differently about

men

and

women

in the workplace because individuals have the right to freedom and education to pursue their career

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

Submitted by [email protected] on Wed Feb 21 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay structure needs improvement. Consider starting with a more defined introduction that clearly states your viewpoint. Follow this with body paragraphs that each introduce a single point in support of your argument. Conclude by summarizing your points and restating your stance in a clear, concise manner.

task achievement

Develop your points with more detailed explanations and specific examples. You've mentioned ideas such as the impact of machinery on job suitability and the benefit of teamwork across genders but did not explore these with depth or provide concrete examples.

general

Watch for spelling and grammar errors, which can detract from your overall message. Phrases like 'Persomally' and 'No quality and discrimination,' are confusing. Use spell check and read your essay aloud to catch errors.

coherence cohesion

Improving your coherence and cohesion can be achieved by linking your ideas more clearly. Use transition phrases between sentences and paragraphs. This will guide the reader through your argument in a more fluid manner.

task achievement

Ensure you fully address the prompt given. While you express disagreement with traditional gender roles in the workplace, elaborating more on why and how both genders can equally excel in all professions will make your response more complete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that men and women have different qualities,there fore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, a growing number of peole with health problems are trying alternative nedicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that travel is necessary to learn about other nations,others ,however think that tv and internet is the best way to learn.Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that those moving to abroad should try to adopt themselves to the new cultures while others think there is no need to do so. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?