IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

#countries #people #history #house #research
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It is believed that individuals nowadays are into exploring the hidden past of constructions and places they live in.
This
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 essay will
firstly
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, explain the purpose of studying about the past of their
accomodations
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accommodations
accommodation
 and
secondly
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, provide some
example
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examples
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 of the method they are using.
Ther
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There
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 are a number
factors
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of factors
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 responsible for finding out about the
history
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 of
constructions
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construction
show examples
 around us.
One
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 of those is curiosity. When someone is attached to
one
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place
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 for a long time, usually, they will
develope
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develop
 affection
to
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for
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 that
place
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.
This
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 is the reason why people want to find out about it, and in many
situation
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situations
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, they
told
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tell
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 stories about their findings to
the
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apply
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others.
In addition
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, if their
researches
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research
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are
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is
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intersted
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interesting
 enough, it could be a
phenomenom
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phenomenon
, and
this
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phenomenom
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phenomenon
 will make
the
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apply
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others want to dive into the
history
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 of their
accomodation
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accommodation
 too. An instance of
this
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 is the movie Dao, pho and piano in Vietnam, the movie took
place
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 in Vietnam in the 1900s and
provide
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provides
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 a picture of Vietnam’s cities during the
Civic war
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Civil War
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. After the movie was premiered in Hanoi, many adults in Vietnam who are interested in
history
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 found it helpful. Despite having no marketing campaign, the
flim
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film
 was still a blockbuster,
clearly
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clearly,
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 it was because of the love
about
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of
show examples
Use synonyms
history
Correct article usage
the history
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 of the
place
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 they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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live in that made them watch the film.
One
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 of the fastest
way
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ways
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 to do research about a
place
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 is through the internet. We are living in a 4.0 world, so we can find
every
Correct determiner usage
the
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 information that we need on tools like
google
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Google
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,
for example
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. If somebody is too lazy to look out for the
informations
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information
pieces of information
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, they can
also
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 use AI
softwares
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software
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 Chat GPT, Gemini or Bing chat.
Eventhough
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Even though
internet
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the internet
show examples
 is the easiest method, we have to be aware of the authenticity of things that we can find on it. Another way
that is
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 more reliable is through old
newspaper
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newspapers
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 and
magazine
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magazines
show examples
.
This
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 method could
takes
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take
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 time, but it is worth the try. In conclusion, curiosity can make individuals dive into the
history
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 of their
accomodation
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accommodation
 and
one
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 of the
technique
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techniques
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 we can use is through technology or a more traditional way,
newspaper
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a newspaper
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.
Submitted by nguyetcat.dao on

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Task Response
To improve your task response, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt in a more detailed manner. While you have given some reasons and methods for researching the history of buildings, you could delve deeper into each point with more elaborated explanations and diversified examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increasing the variety of linking words beyond basic connectors like 'firstly' and 'secondly' could enhance the flow of your essay. Additionally, ensuring a clear progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next will improve coherence.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, integrate more specific, real-world examples that directly relate to the reasons people are interested in the history of their living spaces and the methods they use for research. Make sure these examples are accurately related and analyzed to support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
What to do next:
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