IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that men and women have different qualities , therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extant do you agree or disagree

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
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Some individuals feel that because
men
 and
women
 have different strengths and weaknesses, some jobs are better suited for
men
while
 others are better suited for
women
. I disagree with
this
 specific viewpoint
First,
in today's world,
men
 and
women
 are equally capable of doing any
job
. There is no valid reason to exclude a man or a woman from a particular profession because of their
gender
. Believing that one
gender
 is not suitable for a particular
job
 is an outdated concept. The only limit for
men
 and
women
 in the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 market is prejudice.
Second,
I believe that the world of work has changed and that outdated attitudes about the capabilities of
men
 and
women
 no longer exist. Both sexes have equal rights to opportunities in all areas. One reason is that advances in education have allowed
women
 to have equal access to qualifications as
men
.
Moreover
, by working hard, they can reach the top in their chosen field. Another reason is that modern views have broken down traditional barriers that prevented
men
 and
women
 from doing certain jobs in the past:
construction
Change preposition
from construction
show examples
 workers, truck drivers and soldiers to
women
.
women
, and nursing, cooking and cleaning jobs for
men
. In the modern era, both
men
 and
women
 are capable of performing any
job
. There is no valid justification to prohibit
men
 or
women
 from a certain
job
 on the basis of their
gender
. The belief that one
gender
 is unfit for a given occupation is an outdated notion. Prejudice is the only barrier for
men
 and
women
 in the work market.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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