Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?
In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
statement. Some countries achieve international sports
by building specialised facilities
to train top Athletes, instead
of providing facilities
that everyone
can use
. This
statement is positive
development.
Nowadays, so many countries build Add an article
a positive
an international
Correct the article-noun agreement
international sports
an international sport
sports
because this
one
of Add a missing verb
is one
facilities
for athletes. Not only for athletes but Correct article usage
the facilities
also
for everyone
use
Correct pronoun usage
who use
the
public Correct article usage
apply
sports
. After build
the Wrong verb form
building
facilities
train
will make people come from local tourist or international Fix the agreement mistake
trains
tourist
they come to watch Olympic Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
events
or sports
event
. Almost Fix the agreement mistake
events
some
Correct determiner usage
all
country
always build Fix the agreement mistake
countries
an international
Correct the article-noun agreement
international sports
an international sport
sports
if they country be
Verb problem
are
owner
of event international Fix the agreement mistake
owners
sports
. Example
Change preposition
For example
when
World Cup in Qatar, Qatar Correct your spelling
the
build
Wrong verb form
built
big
Correct article usage
a big
stadion
in the work Correct your spelling
stadium
whe
they Correct your spelling
when
we
be
Wrong verb form
were
owner
of Add an article
the owner
this
World Cup in 2022. I think, Indonesia can Correct determiner usage
the
following
what Qatar Wrong verb form
follow
do
before to build international Wrong verb form
did
sports
so after
the Correct word choice
that after
events
international
end Correct word choice
apply
everyone
can came
there Change the verb form
come
for
do Change preposition
to
sports
.
Providing sports
facilities
that everyone
can use
. So public
Correct article usage
the public
have
trusted Change the verb form
has
to
Correct article usage
the to
country
for
Change preposition
apply
plan
about building international sports
and other country
have good cooperation with Fix the agreement mistake
countries
government
to do Add an article
the government
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Olympic
or Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
sports
events
international
. The sport international Change the word
internationally
such
as moto
GP, football World Cup, ASEAN games, etc. Capitalize word
Moto
This
Change the determiner
This event
These events
events
made benefit to country
for the Add an article
the country
a country
devisa
. But The place Correct your spelling
device
international
Change preposition
for international
sports
everyone
can use
in Indonesia is Gelora Bung Karno in Jakarta, at weekend everyone
can come
there Verb problem
go
do
jogging or just have Zumba at there.
In Verb problem
to go
my
conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
statement can be relate
Change the verb form
be related
if
the Change preposition
to
government
have
so much money. Of course, Wrong verb form
having
this
plan
need
Change the verb form
needs
long
time to Add an article
a long
released
but Add a missing verb
be released
it's
have good Verb problem
it will
benefit
for Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
government
and for Correct article usage
the government
everyone
. I hope government
will Add an article
the government
thingking
Correct your spelling
thinking
this
plan
for the next plan
to build international sports
and hope everyone
can use
although
just jogging, as soon as possible.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay more logically. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Avoid mixing various ideas within a single paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Ensure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth to enhance readability.
task achievement
Clearly address both sides of the argument for a more balanced response. Your essay leans towards explaining the positive aspects without adequately discussing potential negatives.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to clearly support your arguments. Ensure that each example is relevant to the topic and explained in detail to illustrate your point more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure your introduction outlines the essay's stance and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite