Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

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In many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
of
Countries
Use synonyms
, Sports are become an identity of some
countries
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. So
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
become
priority
Add an article
a priority
show examples
. One side
focus
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focuses
show examples
to developt
Change preposition
on developing
show examples
top athletes , and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
side
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
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same
Correct article usage
the same
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chance to
all
Correct determiner usage
the
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public. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
focusing on development
to
Change preposition
for
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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talent
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and
passion
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
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it is more promising. Most
Countries
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with
exellent
Correct your spelling
excellent
histories of
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
achievements like England ,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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and China have had
worldclass
Correct your spelling
world-class
world class
Use synonyms
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
Centers with
top quality
Add a hyphen
top-quality
show examples
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
and international
standart
Correct your spelling
standards
. The most obvious benefit is
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this facility
these facilities
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
will give top athletes more chances to become
worldclass
Correct your spelling
world-class
world class
Athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
Athletes
show examples
at the same time they
no
Verb problem
do not
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need to worry about
future
Correct article usage
the future
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while
Linking Words
focus
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focusing
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on
talent
Use synonyms
development.
Beside
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Besides
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that, they will feel
satisfy
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satisfied
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because their
passion
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has been
support
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supporting
supported
show examples
by
government
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the government
show examples
. A third point is
more good
Correct word choice
that better
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a country
on
Change preposition
to
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build their
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
will make
Correct article usage
the country
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country
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country's
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reputation higher
also
Linking Words
.
For Example
Linking Words
, In
China
Add a comma
China,
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many
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
start from elementary school
whose
Correct word choice
and
show examples
have good
talent
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
certain
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
will be given early education and practical
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
experiences
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
Use synonyms
Sport
Correct your spelling
sports centre
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Center
Use synonyms
Facilities
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several
countries
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still
argues
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argue
show examples
that
sport
Use synonyms
is not only the way to live and there are many other
sector
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sectors
show examples
that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
must
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
to be developed.
However
Linking Words
, some schools
are still provide
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still provide
show examples
basic
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
to keep the student
health
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healthy
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
doing some physical activities. There is
also
Linking Words
point
Add an article
a point
the point
show examples
of view that not every person has
talent
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
like
idiom
Correct article usage
the idiom
show examples
'Don't judge a fish on how it
climb
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climbs
show examples
".
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
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some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the school
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
still
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
some tournaments of
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
support
Use synonyms
passion
Correct article usage
the passion
show examples
of students. Training
Use synonyms
Center
Fix the agreement mistake
Centers
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
sports
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
very
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
, especially
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
have
talent
Use synonyms
and
passion
Use synonyms
. I believe
Use synonyms
Sport
Change the noun form
Sports
show examples
Center
Use synonyms
that government provide, will be able to increase
Correct article usage
the propability
show examples
propability
Correct your spelling
probability
profitability
Change preposition
of atheletes
show examples
atheletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
to win
Change the verb form
winning
show examples
some major
thropies
Correct your spelling
trophies
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
Consider reviewing some grammatical structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and reduce errors, such as 'In many part of Countries' which could be 'In many parts of the world.' This will enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to expand on your reasons and elaborations to ensure the reader fully understands your viewpoint. This will improve clarity and coverage.
task achievement
It could be beneficial to provide more examples of countries that offer community sports facilities to balance the argument. This will ensure a more comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, supporting the idea of specialized training facilities for top athletes.
coherence cohesion
Good use of examples, such as China's approach to sporting excellence, which adds credibility to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with distinct paragraphs addressing different points of view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
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