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Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people spend less and less time at home. What are the ‎causes of this? What are the effects of this on individuals and on society.‎

#people #time #home #‎causes #effects #individuals #society
It is
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 common thing we are witnessing that today's vast majority of
people
 are more likely to spend their time outside
from
Change preposition
of
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home
. In
forthecoming
Correct word choice
the coming
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 paragraphs, I intend to
higliht
Correct your spelling
highlight
 the major reasons
of
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for
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this
 worst happening,
how
Correct word choice
and how
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 they are impacting on
person
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person's
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 life and
on
Change preposition
apply
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our community. There are innumerable factors because of them large number of
people
 are staying out
from
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of
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home
. The most adverse
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 unhealthy relationships among families and
distressing
Correct article usage
a distressing
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home
 environment.
Therefore
,
specifically
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specifically,
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 men start to engage in other activities
consequently
,
such
 as drug abuse,
Correct word choice
and
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join
Wrong verb form
joining
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 bad companies till late
night
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at night
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.
For instance
,
people
 who are deprived of care and attention from
home
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will find
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
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outside
Add an article
the outside
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 world. Another cogent reason is socio
economic
Correct word choice
socio-economic
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 pressure and instability have
great
Add an article
a great
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 effect on
laymen
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laymen's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. To meet the basic needs of life they burn the midnight oil. Even they do not have time to hug, curdle and talk with their children.
Moreover
, it is becoming
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
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people
Correct word choice
that people
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 are becoming
late night
Add a hyphen
late-night
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 owls, and do not like to be early
bird
Fix the agreement mistake
birds
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.
Hence
, they invest their nights in some
cafe's
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cafe
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 restaurants etc.
Last
 but not least, many individuals have joined different
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 out
from
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of
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home
 to get rid
from
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of
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daily
Correct pronoun usage
their daily
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 banal
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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.
For Instance
, one of my
friend
Change to a plural noun
friends
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 lives alone to lessen boredom she is used to
go
Change the verb form
going
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for
Change preposition
to
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gym
Correct article usage
the gym
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, swimming and
for
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to
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learningg
Correct your spelling
learning
 music class.
To conclude
, there are some positive reasons
of
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for
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 less spend time at
home
 but most of the negative aspects are noticed that are
effacting
Correct your spelling
effecting
affecting
people
Change noun form
people's
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 health, status,
relationships
Correct word choice
and relationships
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 and destroying our community harmony.
Submitted by amnamunir764 on

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Introduction Clarity
Ensure your introduction clearly states the topic and your perspective or approach. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
Logical Flow
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas and maintain continuity.
Relevant Examples
Provide specific, relevant examples to support each point. This adds depth and clarity to your arguments, making your essay more persuasive.
Paragraph Development
Avoid generalizations and ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea, supported by detailed explanations or examples.
Grammar and Accuracy
Check your essay for any grammatical errors or typos. Correct use of language enhances the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Effective Conclusion
Revisit your conclusion. It should succinctly summarize your main points and restate your perspective, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your stance.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job demands
  • work-life balance
  • remote working
  • digital entertainment
  • public spaces
  • urbanization
  • social and recreational options
  • networking
  • commuting
  • blurred boundaries
  • extroverted societal expectation
  • cafes and coworking spaces
  • smaller living spaces
  • cultural changes
What to do next:
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