In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #teenagers #part #time #jobs #think #development

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Part time

Add a hyphen

Part-time

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work is

significatly

Correct your spelling

significantly

more prominent with the younger population. Some people possess a negative opinion of

this

recent development and some are in full support of

this

. In

this

essay, I will be unpacking and discussing both spectrums

as well as

my standpoint on

this

topic.

To begin

with, in the capitalist society we live in today, having a career is essential for one's survival. Families are finding it harder to afford basic needs

such

as food, clothing and shelter. I grew up in a small town near Lagos, Nigeria, where the mass population could not bear the expense of

such

mundane things. Unquestionably,

this

can be disheartening to encounter which makes the idea of capable teenagers working to support their families resonate with me.

On the other hand

, some individuals are against youngsters working entirely. They are of the perspective that working could deter juveniles from focusing solely on their education and hobbies critical for their advancement. From my point of view,

this

is a fair viewpoint given all necessary financial needs of these teens are met.

To conclude

, the determining factor regarding a minor being employed for a service resides in the current

economical

Correct word choice

economic

show examples

circumstances of their respective guardians or primary caregivers

Submitted by quadrimashood on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your essay, try to provide a more direct response to the essay prompt in your introduction. Clearly state your own opinion alongside discussing both views to fully meet the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate more precise and varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within them. This will strengthen the cohesion and coherence of your essay.

Task Achievement

To enrich your task achievement, include more specific examples to support each viewpoint. Personal anecdotes are valuable, but additional broader examples or statistics could provide stronger support for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

206 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

practical experience
career path
responsibility
time management
teamwork
adversely affect
personal development
financial independence
money management skills
academic performance
networking opportunities
career exploration
professional growth
exploitation
leisure
overall development

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In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before.Some people say anageing population creates problemsfor governments.Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

3.What would you contribute to the cohort and to the Imperial community?3.What would you contribute to the cohort and to the Imperial community?

More and more people prefer to read e-book rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?

the plants below show a public park when it first opend in 1920 and the same park today.