In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #teenagers #part #time #jobs #think #development

Part time

Add a hyphen

Part-time

show examples

work is

significatly

Correct your spelling

significantly

more prominent with the younger population. Some people possess a negative opinion of

this

recent development and some are in full support of

this

. In

this

essay, I will be unpacking and discussing both spectrums

as well as

my standpoint on

this

topic.

To begin

with, in the capitalist society we live in today, having a career is essential for one's survival. Families are finding it harder to afford basic needs

such

as food, clothing and shelter. I grew up in a small town near Lagos, Nigeria, where the mass population could not bear the expense of

such

mundane things. Unquestionably,

this

can be disheartening to encounter which makes the idea of capable teenagers working to support their families resonate with me.

On the other hand

, some individuals are against youngsters working entirely. They are of the perspective that working could deter juveniles from focusing solely on their education and hobbies critical for their advancement. From my point of view,

this

is a fair viewpoint given all necessary financial needs of these teens are met.

To conclude

, the determining factor regarding a minor being employed for a service resides in the current

economical

Correct word choice

economic

show examples

circumstances of their respective guardians or primary caregivers

Submitted by quadrimashood on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your essay, try to provide a more direct response to the essay prompt in your introduction. Clearly state your own opinion alongside discussing both views to fully meet the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

Incorporate more precise and varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within them. This will strengthen the cohesion and coherence of your essay.

Task Achievement

To enrich your task achievement, include more specific examples to support each viewpoint. Personal anecdotes are valuable, but additional broader examples or statistics could provide stronger support for your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

206 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that Ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME PEOPLE USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH OTHER PEOPLE AND NEWS EVENT. DO YOU THINK THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS TECHNOLOGY OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES.

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Environmental problems such as pollution and climatic variations are increasing nowadays. The governments have taken some measures at a global level. But they got only few solutions. Why is it so? How can this be solved?