Some people today believe that the world's increase in population is unsustainable and will eventually lead to a global crisis. Other people believe that world population increase is necessary and beneficial as it creates the growth of the world's economy and society.

The uncontrollable rise in
numbers
of
population
is a matter of concern.
Furthermore
,
this
concern is not limited to one country or continent; it is a global issue. Some proponents argue the surge in
population
can lead to a global
crisis
, meanwhile, debaters argue that
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in world
population
is essential for
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
growth
of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
economy and society.
However
, I believe that nothing is good in excessive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
, not even a
population
.
To begin
with, the increasing
numbers
can cause several crises in future.
Firstly
, the problem of rising unemployment
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
higher in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
decade
due to
plethora
Correct article usage
the plethora
show examples
of applicants applying for the same job.
Secondly
,
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
crisis
and
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
crisis
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious matters to discuss. There is
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
in
numbers
of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
, but the farming lands are less in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
to
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
;
therefore
,
this
leads to significant inflation in
food
prices and
food
Correct article usage
a food
show examples
crisis
.
For example
, In
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
article from Rajasthan, local residents
were stating
Wrong verb form
stated
show examples
that there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
drastic changes in
food
prices
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the number of people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
very
higher
Correct word choice
high
show examples
there and they have only 10%
land
Change preposition
of land
show examples
which can be used as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farming land for vegetables.
On the other hand
, there are
also
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
benefits from
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
rising
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. The prime benefit from
population
growth
is
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth
of the countries has significantly increased.
In addition
to that, more business opportunities are possible now, as the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of consumers has
also
raised
Verb problem
risen
show examples
with the
population
.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
growth
also
lies within the
population
. To exemplify,
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
show examples
country like India has shown a magnificent change in its social
growth
as well as
economic
growth
, as it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
second largest
Add a hyphen
second-largest
show examples
country in case of
population
.
To conclude
,
although
there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
benefits of
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
in
population
like economic
growth
and social
growth
, I believe it leads to global
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
like unemployment and
food
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
,
as well as
residential issues in developing countries.
Submitted by rushsoni1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to clearly structure your essay with distinct paragraphs for introduction, each argument, and conclusion to improve logical flow.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your position on the topic to provide a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly and enhance readability.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples and evidence. This enriches your argument and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it are relevant to that idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: