IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people are born to be leaders, while others believe leadership can be learnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Nowadays,
leaders
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 are
a
Correct article usage
apply
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very common
person
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people
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, from leading a country to leading small projects, but they are still
leaders
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. There is an opinion that says some
people
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 already have
leadership
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skills
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 when they are born,
while
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 others consider
leadership
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 can be achieved from learning. In
this
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 essay, I’ll discuss both views and give my opinion about
this
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 assessment. On the one hand, it is undeniable that some
people
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 are born to be
leaders
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, and are often good at inspiring and leading large groups.
Leaders
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 require credibility, motivation, proactiveness,
trustworthy
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trustworthiness
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 and confidence.
For instance
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, Winston Churchill,
a
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the
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 president of the United Kingdom, had a
leadership
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skill
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 when he was a child, and he
shows
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showed
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 his
skills
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 in some strategy games.
Moreover
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,
people
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 who have
borned
Correct your spelling
developed
leadership
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skills
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 are mainly extroverted
people
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, so they are better at leading than others.
For example
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, families with
people
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 who are leading may teach their talent to the next generation.
On the other hand
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, training
leadership
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skills
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 is not impossible for anyone who really wants to achieve it. They can train
this
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skill
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 in a suitable environment, with the right
people
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 to observe and instruct them. They can learn some necessary
skills
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such
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 as communication, change management, or even learning from courses, resources, and lessons from successful
leaders
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.
This
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 means
this
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skill
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 can be trained,
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
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 and experienced over time.
For instance
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, a person who wants to learn to become a leader needs to have the right environment, and a good tutor to learn from and fix their mistakes. In
this
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 modern day, many schools provide the environment to train the leading
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skill
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skills
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 by doing group discussions, or leading small projects for students to experience and practice
leadership
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skills
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. In conclusion, the
people
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 who have
leading
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leadership
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skills
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 when they are born are talented
people
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, but
leadership
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skills
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 are possible to be trained and achieved. So I agree that
leadership
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skills
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 can be trained, not just from talent.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Work on creating more direct and relevant introductions and conclusions. The introduction should clearly state what the essay will discuss and the conclusion should summarize your main points and opinion succinctly.
Paragraphing & Main Ideas
Develop each paragraph around a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to clarify their main focus to the reader.
Specific Examples
Enhance your argument with more specific examples. While Winston Churchill is mentioned, more detailed examples or evidence to support your points would strengthen your essay. Consider using a variety of examples from different fields or contexts.
Linking & Coherence
Improve essay coherence by linking ideas and paragraphs more clearly. Use transitional phrases to show the relationships between your ideas and to help guide the reader through your discussion.
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