Overweight Children In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should be responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often considered that a few individuals reckon that in many nations, teenagers are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations

It seems that population may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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believe that the government should play a vital role
for
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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solving
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I dissent from the notion which
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

leads to a logical
conlcusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion

If you don’t want conlcusion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Commencing, the contemporary era consists of a number of youngsters with
unique
Add an article
a unique

The noun phrase unique concept seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts

It seems that concept may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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on
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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food and their
body
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

weight
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some of them are not
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious

If you don’t want concious to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

about their
body
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

figure
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others are serious about that.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
intake
Correct article usage
the intake

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
healthy
Add an article
a healthy

The noun phrase healthy or unhealthy diet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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or unhealthy diet,
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends

It seems that the verb depend does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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on the juveniles and
additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they should do exercises regularly to gain
fit
Correct article usage
a fit

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and structured
body
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

size.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists

It seems that scientist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in Australia researched the cause of overweight children and
as a consequence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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themselves are responsible for their
body
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

size and weight. Probing ahead, the federal authorities
are not completely give
Change the verb form
are not completely given
are not completely giving

It appears that the form of the verb give does not work with are in this sentence.

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solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions

It seems that solution may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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society but they can make
aware
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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the masses
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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in what conditions or environments the meals are prepared.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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government officials
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

compelled the companies to mention the composition of ingredients
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

fats so that folks
will
Wrong verb form
would

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb will. Consider changing it.

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understand and eat
accordingly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in India, there are many unofficial street foods or food points in which crowds are always in queue and they
always
Add a missing verb
are always

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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fond of eating these kinds of junkies even knowing that it is not healthy. In a nutshell, the representatives have the
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility

If you don’t want resposibility to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to make
aware
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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the population rather than giving spoon feeding as it's
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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duty of a single person to decide what to eat or not.
Instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of eating processed food, prefer
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade

The word home made seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
cuisines.
Submitted by vermarohit981.rv on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement score, try to directly address the prompt more forcefully by clearly stating your agreement or disagreement with the given statement. Use a variety of sentence structures and more precise vocabulary related to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by making sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or reasons. Using linking words effectively can also help improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better cohesion, ensure that the ideas within paragraphs and the connection between them are logical and clear. Use cohesive devices such as transition words smoothly and appropriately to guide the reader through your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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