You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
#minutes #topic #people #countries #diseases #curable #medication #drug #companies #products #prices
Most
people
who live in poor countries die from diseases that could be healed by using medication. Because they cannot afford the price of the treatment. Therefore
, some crowd think drug companies could decrease the prices to those people
can
pay for it. In my opinion, decreasing medicine prices is not enough to avoid Correct pronoun usage
who can
a high death rates
in those countries.
Hygiene concepts should be implemented to prevent Correct the article-noun agreement
a high death rate
high death rates
get
Verb problem
apply
disease
is more help for avoid death. The source of the Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
disease
is bacteria
or viruses. Both of them usually pass through food
or animals get into a human body. Therefore
, the related organizing could focus on the 2 points.
First,
to keep the food
clean. Is the food
cooked in those places? The bacteria
is easier growing faster on raw food
. Using boiling water for cooking could be effective in killing the bacteria
in the food
. Moreover
, washing hands to cooking is also
a good way to reduce bacteria
growth.
Second,
to avoid bites from animals, especially mosquitoes. The mosquito could bring the disease
from animal to human. For instance
, malaria is a life-threatening disease
spread to humans by some types of mosquitoes. Therefore
, to keep the mosquitoes away use a tent. To compare the price of pills, the tent is priceful. However
, it could be used longer term than drugs.
In conclusion, reducing prices of the medicine is not the way to help poor countries's people
in the long term. Teaching people
the right concept of hygiene is more important to avoid a high rate of death.Submitted by sam658769 on
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introduction clarity
Make sure your introduction clearly presents your stance on the issue. The introduction is vital for setting up the structure of your essay.
paragraph development
Develop your paragraphs more consistently. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by explanations, examples, or both. This will help in supporting your points more convincingly.
use of examples
Offer concrete examples from real life or hypothetical scenarios to support your arguments. This adds credibility and depth to your writing.
transitions and connections
Work on the coherence of your essay by ensuring logical transitions between paragraphs and clear connections between your ideas. Use transition words and phrases effectively.
conclusion refinement
Revisit your concluding paragraph to ensure it mirrors the introduction and effectively summarizes your arguments as well as clearly stating your position on the issue.
addressing essay prompt
Directly address the essay question in your response. Your essay should clearly communicate whether you believe drug companies should reduce their prices and also provide reasons and examples to support your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.