Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #centers #effect #youths #society

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People

wonder whether it is good or bad if young

people

spend their free

time

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping

malls

. In

this

essay, I will argue that

this

does not have negative impacts on the

youths

Fix the agreement mistake

youth

show examples

and society.

Firstly

, shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

are safe for young

people

to hang out

Change preposition

in.

show examples

As these places are public and crowded, the youths will less likely

Fix the infinitive

to be

show examples

the victims of criminal activities

such

as violence and robbery.

Besides

that, there is no drugs and alcohol are allowed in the shopping

malls

therefore

, it

also

helps young

people

to stay away from addictive things in their leisure

time

Thus

, it is

possitive

Correct your spelling

possible

and safe to have youngsters in the shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

when they have free

time

Secondly

, local businesses are supported by young

people

when they come to the shopping

malls

in their free

time

. Nowadays, many of these places are converted to complex

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

which

also

have

food

Add an article

a food

show examples

court

Fix the agreement mistake

courts

show examples

cinema

Fix the agreement mistake

cinemas

show examples

and other services.

For example

, young

people

can get their hair cut

done

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

, meet up with friends to have dinner or watch

movie

Add an article

a movie

the movie

show examples

in one place.

This

convenience encourages

people

to spend more.

Then

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

also

benefits from the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

growth of businesses from the shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

in their area. In conclusion, young

people

spend their spare

time

in shopping

malls

is not only safe for them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

beneficial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

local businesses and society.

Submitted by thanhvan230688 on Thu Feb 22 2024

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Task Achievement

Although your essay introduces a clear stance on the topic, it could further develop task achievement by exploring counterarguments or more diverse viewpoints. This could enrich the complexity of the discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, but try to improve the cohesion between paragraphs by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will make your argument flow more naturally.

Task Achievement & Coherence and Cohesion

To elevate your essay, ensure every paragraph explicitly supports your main argument. Integrate more detailed and specific examples to underscore your points. This will increase the persuasiveness and depth of your discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

231 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Consumer culture
Materialism
Youth culture
Commercialization
Passive consumption
Social conformity
Economic stimulation
Financial literacy
Sedentary behavior
Local enterprises
Cultural enrichment
Intellectual stimulation
Alternative pastimes
Community engagement
Peer influence
Escapism

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Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Word Count

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