Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #time #centers #effect #youths #society

People

wonder whether it is good or bad if young

people

spend their free

time

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping

malls

. In

this

essay, I will argue that

this

does not have negative impacts on the

youths

Fix the agreement mistake

youth

show examples

and society.

Firstly

, shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

are safe for young

people

to hang out

Change preposition

in.

show examples

As these places are public and crowded, the youths will less likely

Fix the infinitive

to be

show examples

the victims of criminal activities

such

as violence and robbery.

Besides

that, there is no drugs and alcohol are allowed in the shopping

malls

therefore

, it

also

helps young

people

to stay away from addictive things in their leisure

time

Thus

, it is

possitive

Correct your spelling

possible

and safe to have youngsters in the shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

when they have free

time

Secondly

, local businesses are supported by young

people

when they come to the shopping

malls

in their free

time

. Nowadays, many of these places are converted to complex

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

which

also

have

food

Add an article

a food

show examples

court

Fix the agreement mistake

courts

show examples

cinema

Fix the agreement mistake

cinemas

show examples

and other services.

For example

, young

people

can get their hair cut

done

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

, meet up with friends to have dinner or watch

movie

Add an article

a movie

the movie

show examples

in one place.

This

convenience encourages

people

to spend more.

Then

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

also

benefits from the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

growth of businesses from the shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

in their area. In conclusion, young

people

spend their spare

time

in shopping

malls

is not only safe for them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

beneficial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

local businesses and society.

Submitted by thanhvan230688 on Thu Feb 22 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Although your essay introduces a clear stance on the topic, it could further develop task achievement by exploring counterarguments or more diverse viewpoints. This could enrich the complexity of the discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay, but try to improve the cohesion between paragraphs by using more varied linking words and phrases. This will make your argument flow more naturally.

Task Achievement & Coherence and Cohesion

To elevate your essay, ensure every paragraph explicitly supports your main argument. Integrate more detailed and specific examples to underscore your points. This will increase the persuasiveness and depth of your discussion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Consumer culture
Materialism
Youth culture
Commercialization
Passive consumption
Social conformity
Economic stimulation
Financial literacy
Sedentary behavior
Local enterprises
Cultural enrichment
Intellectual stimulation
Alternative pastimes
Community engagement
Peer influence
Escapism

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
universites should accept equal number of male and female in every subject ? at what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the modern era, some people believe that education centres should have the same capacity for both genders. With all respect to this standpoint and its benefits, I don't agree with it and I think better students, either male or female, should enter the university and I'm going to explain my reasons.
6
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Public health is a multifaceted concern, and the approaches to enhancing it vary widely. While some argue that an increase in sports facilities is the key to a healthier society, others contend that this strategy falls short of addressing the complexities of public health. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives before presenting my own opinion on the matter.
<4
band
In many countries, there is an increasing trend in using mobile phone apps for payment purpose instead of old way of cash handling. What is your opinion. Explain with examples.
There is no doubt that these days a lot of countries use the mobile phone apps for payment the question is do think that payment in mobile phone is very imortanat in our life our not ? , in this essay iam going to talk about payment method before comparison this day . In trems of advantaged about online payment The main reason gaiven to support this claim is that its easier and increase time . To illustrate , if I buy something there is no need to return the remaining amount . In other words , the phone apps for payment its importnat for a many resons . However the main point of mobile payment is multiple first of all , to provide save card in the wallet , Also can people used the apple pay when there lose theret card paymen .
<4
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Lessons at school can provide children with valuable insights into being good members of society. In class, students can receive lessons about different traits of a truly good person that society needs, and then they put what they learn into practice by creating real-life problems and solving them together. For instance, after receiving lessons in civic education at school, many Vietnamese students are more willing to help their neighbors and even strangers, and they feel extremely happy after doing something good for others. For this reason, I believe that school lessons are more influential to young children.
5
band
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Have you ever considered how to recover from school before attending a university or getting employment experience? It's common knowledge that having your parents push you to attend college after high school offers some benefits, but it also has drawbacks. This essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks of young people working or traveling for a year in between high school graduation and college enrollment, and it will do so in a rational manner.

Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

universites should accept equal number of male and female in every subject ? at what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, there is an increasing trend in using mobile phone apps for payment purpose instead of old way of cash handling. What is your opinion. Explain with examples.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.