New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

It is true that the invention of household facilities created more spare time for women and gave them opportunities to pursue their work aspirations
as well as
maintain housework with un-reliant
children
.
Although
it may have some drawbacks, I believe
this
can bring more benefits. On the one hand, the option to let the woman work can
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
some benefits in financial-oriented for a family and teach the
children
to be more independent. The first advantage is that women can support
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
financially to enhance living quality.
This
can be explained by the fact that either the man or the woman can give a hand to each other if there is an undesirable situation or provide an efficient environment for
children
’s growth.
Secondly
, separate time for career paths
instead
of only paying attention to family can stimulate
children
to do chores.
For example
, if they see their
mothers
struggle in the workplace, they will have a responsibility to be independent
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and avoid overindulgence.
However
, all these benefits come at a cost, working
mothers
are not given enough time for their kids.
Children
need to have all-rounded guidance in their development stage ,especially preadolescents.
This
is because if parents can not offer their kids vital care, they might cope with bad situations with dire results.
Furthermore
, it has been shown that
children
keep their distance from their parents,
due to
a lack of sharing and understanding from a young age.
For instance
, American kids are usually given freedom when they are teenagers,
as a result
, they do not have close boundaries with their relatives. I do not think that distance and over-reliance should be seen as major disadvantages because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
depend on how the
mothers
are able to balance their personal and private lives and define some priorities In conclusion,
while
there are some disadvantages regarding professional
mothers
, I believe
this
downside can not outweigh the upside that it helps
mothers
to have more leisure and can contribute to
protect
Change the verb form
protecting
show examples
the family. It is recommended that women should set priorities
as well as
be flexible in tackling dilemmas in order to minimize the cons.
Submitted by nguyetcat.dao on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your response must clearly respond to the provided prompts. Consider outlining your main points in relation to the specific questions asked before delving into details.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. It should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea and is followed by supporting sentences. Use transition words to improve the smoothness of moving from one idea to another.
task achievement
While your essay provides examples, aim to include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. These examples should be directly related to the question and your argument. They are crucial in demonstrating your understanding and making your argument more convincing.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: