New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

#household #appliances #time #women #work #home #children #mother #works

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It is true that the invention of household facilities created more spare time for women and gave them opportunities to pursue their work aspirations

as well as

Linking Words

maintain housework with un-reliant

children

Use synonyms

Although

Linking Words

it may have some drawbacks, I believe

this

Linking Words

can bring more benefits. On the one hand, the option to let the woman work can

has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

some benefits in financial-oriented for a family and teach the

children

Use synonyms

to be more independent. The first advantage is that women can support

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

financially to enhance living quality.

This

Linking Words

can be explained by the fact that either the man or the woman can give a hand to each other if there is an undesirable situation or provide an efficient environment for

children

Use synonyms

’s growth.

Secondly

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, separate time for career paths

instead

Linking Words

of only paying attention to family can stimulate

children

Use synonyms

to do chores.

For example

Linking Words

, if they see their

mothers

Use synonyms

struggle in the workplace, they will have a responsibility to be independent

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and avoid overindulgence.

However

Linking Words

, all these benefits come at a cost, working

mothers

Use synonyms

are not given enough time for their kids.

Children

Use synonyms

need to have all-rounded guidance in their development stage ,especially preadolescents.

This

Linking Words

is because if parents can not offer their kids vital care, they might cope with bad situations with dire results.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it has been shown that

children

Use synonyms

keep their distance from their parents,

due to

Linking Words

a lack of sharing and understanding from a young age.

For instance

Linking Words

, American kids are usually given freedom when they are teenagers,

as a result

Linking Words

, they do not have close boundaries with their relatives. I do not think that distance and over-reliance should be seen as major disadvantages because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

depend on how the

mothers

Use synonyms

are able to balance their personal and private lives and define some priorities In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

there are some disadvantages regarding professional

mothers

Use synonyms

, I believe

this

Linking Words

downside can not outweigh the upside that it helps

mothers

Use synonyms

to have more leisure and can contribute to

protect

Change the verb form

protecting

show examples

the family. It is recommended that women should set priorities

as well as

Linking Words

be flexible in tackling dilemmas in order to minimize the cons.

Submitted by nguyetcat.dao on Thu Feb 22 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your response must clearly respond to the provided prompts. Consider outlining your main points in relation to the specific questions asked before delving into details.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your essay. It should have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should begin with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea and is followed by supporting sentences. Use transition words to improve the smoothness of moving from one idea to another.

task achievement

While your essay provides examples, aim to include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. These examples should be directly related to the question and your argument. They are crucial in demonstrating your understanding and making your argument more convincing.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as much as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.