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Band 4

Many people nowadays are concerned about the level of air pollution created by the number of people using air travel. They suggest it may be safer for people to use alternative forms of transportation such as road transport. To what extent do you agree that travel by road may be the safer option?

#people #level #air #pollution #travel #alternative #forms #transportation #road #transport #option
Nowadays,
entertainment
 options have expanded massively, including TV shows, video games, and more. People, especially
children
, often spend their free time engaging
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these forms of
entertainment
.
However
, many
parents
 are increasingly concerned about the rising levels of violence in these mediums and its potential influence on their
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. To address
this
 issue,
parents
 must actively monitor their
children
's leisure activities. Research conducted by Indonesian psychological experts suggests that
children
 tend to mimic what they see and hear. Exposure to violence in TV programs or video games can significantly increase the likelihood of
children
 imitating
such
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. To counteract
this
 influence, it is crucial to select
entertainment
 options that are free from violent content. Some
entertainment
 industries have taken steps to label their products as "kid-friendly" to reassure
parents
 about their suitability for
children
.
Therefore
, it is incumbent upon
parents
 to ensure that their
children
 only consume
entertainment
 that carries
such
 a label. In conclusion,
parents
 should prioritize selecting non-violent, kid-friendly
entertainment
 options to shield their
children
 from exposure to violent content during their leisure time. By doing so,
parents
 can help prevent their
children
 from replicating the aggressive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 depicted in
such
 media.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Focus on directly answering the given question, ensuring that you fully address the specific topic of air pollution related to air travel and the comparison with road transport.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples or evidence that are directly related to the question. This helps strengthen the argument and clarity of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should state your position on the question clearly, and your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position in relation to the question.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain logical structure within paragraphs by starting with a topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will be about, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence if necessary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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