Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that
people
love visiting
museums
.
While
it is a commonly held belief that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
admission
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
museums
should be charged, there is
also
an argument that
such
places
should be available to everyone for free.
This
essay will discuss
this
topic from both perspectives and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, there are many advantages of imposing charges on visiting
museums
.
Firstly
, it would be a kind of financial
securing
Replace the word
security
show examples
.
In other words
, forcing
museums'
Change noun form
museums
show examples
visitors
to pay a fee amount would assist the workers and the staff
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
consistently
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
show examples
these
places
and to be eager to keep them clean and convenient for the
visitors
.
In addition
,
this
amount of money will provide the tourists with a sense of the importance of these
places
.
For example
, when you
visit
a place where
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
you have to pay an
entrance-fee
Correct your spelling
entrance fee
show examples
, you will be more conscious to keep that place tidy and clean.
On the other hand
, forcing
visitors
to pay a fee would lower the number of
people
whose
Correct your spelling
who are
show examples
keen to
visit
these
places
. It is
also
possible to say that
people
would prefer to
visit
public
places
rather than
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
private ones
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they definitely tend to save their money or invest
this
amount in visiting more interesting
places
such
as zoos or restaurants.
Moreover
, if
museums
charge
visitors
, they would tend to
visit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only once, because
people
usually have
a stereotype
Replace the word
stereotypical
show examples
thoughts about
museums
that they don't have new things to show
people
.
For instance
,
people
in Arab countries consider
museums
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
places
for antique things,
as well as
for ancient cultural items. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that there should be some public
museums
without any fees, and others private especially those that need for circular maintenance.
Submitted by shaymaa.khalaf91 on

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task achievement
For a higher Task Achievement score, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question, providing a clear opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Your conclusion should summarize this stance more distinctly.
coherence cohesion
To improve your Coherence and Cohesion score, consider using a broader range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Additionally, aim for a clearer distinction between different arguments within paragraphs.
task achievement
Integrating more relevant and specific examples into your arguments can help make your points more convincing and grounding. Try to include unique, detailed examples that directly support your line of reasoning.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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