Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Sugar
consumption has increased recently. High level
amounts of Add a hyphen
High-level
sugar
in ready foods and drinks result in health problems and disease. It is said that the price
of sugary products
should be increased to stop people
from buying these kinds of products
and hopefully, eat less sugar
. In this
essay, I will delve into why I disagree with this
statement.
To begin
with, encouraging people
to avoid of consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
sugar
by increasing the price
of sugary products
is a compulsory solution. Compel
Wrong verb form
Compelling
people
to do what or not to do would not always work. There are so many examples in history, for instance
, in Iran the price
of cigarettes have
been increased in order to make Change the verb form
has
people
smoke less. However
it did not work. There are so many Add a comma
However,
people
who still can afford to buy expensive products
. In the long term view, making sugar
products
expensive is not a good idea.
On the other hand
, there are so many more effective ways to solve this
problem. First of all, people
must be educated about the problems and the consequences of consuming extensive sugar
in their diet. They must be aware of the diseases associated with eating too much sugar
such
as obesity or diabetes. So public awareness should be raised instead
of forceing
them. Correct your spelling
forcing
Furthermore
, another better and effective
way could be Correct quantifier usage
more effective
reduce
the amount of advertising Fix the infinitive
to reduce
sugar-based
food or drinks.
In conclusion, Change preposition
for sugar-based
Although
the increase in the price
of the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar based
Add a hyphen
sugar-based
products
could be helpful to drop the consumption of sugar
temporary
, I disagree with the whole idea because it is a compulsive way and so many alternative solutions exist that can be used.Change the word
temporarily
Submitted by mrg1373 on
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task achievement
Ensure you fully address the prompt by providing a clear position throughout your essay and in your conclusion. Expand your argument with specific, detailed examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay more logically by clearly dividing it into paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use transitional phrases to help the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your arguments. This could include statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes that add depth to your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your introduction and conclusion to clearly state your position and summarize your main points. This strengthens your argument and makes it easier for the reader to understand your stance.