in their advertising, business nowedays usually emphasise that their products are new in some ways. why is this ? do you think it is a positive or ngative development?

#business #nowedays #emphasise #products #ngative #development

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Bolding

uniquness

Correct your spelling

uniqueness

unique

and different aspects of products has become an inseparable part of each

advertisment

Correct your spelling

demanding

Wrong verb form

demanded

show examples

by manufacturers. In my opinion, there

two

Add a missing verb

are two

show examples

main reasons for

this

phenomeneon

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phenomenon

and have

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

own

brightsides

Correct your spelling

bright sides

and

darksides

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dark sides

dark side

. As for why businesses are persisting on

freshfulness

Correct your spelling

freshness

of their

commidities

Correct your spelling

commodities

communities

, it can be mentioned two reasons.

Firstly

, purchasing

such

sate-of-the-art

Correct your spelling

state-of-the-art

show examples

artefact

Fix the agreement mistake

artefacts

show examples

shows the ability of buyers, pointing their wealth by which they can feel superior

than

Change the preposition

show examples

other ordinary individuals;

for

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

Apple brand introduces not only the most

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

in the world but

also

the most stylish models that by buying the newest, he can flaunt his fortune.

Secondly

, it is obvious that just the up-to-date merchandise can absorb

people

's attention

not

Add the comma(s)

, not

show examples

the old ones. It would be a bit

rediculous

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ridiculous

show examples

that

Change preposition

for

show examples

obsolete stuff with old features to be sold. A number of opponents argue that it has a prominent negative impact on

people

which is called 'consumerism'. Capitalists are inducing

people

way

Add an article

a way

show examples

that will be thirsty for every fresh idea

as well as

commidities

Correct your spelling

commodities

communities

by which they can obtain as much money as

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

can.

On the other hand

, proponents contend that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

are entitled to know about the new

thechnological

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technological

artefacts that can

chang

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change

show examples

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

life from good to better circumstances. One of these goods is

satelite

Correct your spelling

satellite

internet,

earasing

Correct your spelling

erasing

harassing

all

limites

Correct your spelling

limits

to access the net.

To conclude

, in my opinion,

nowedays

Correct your spelling

nowadays

people

are wise enough to be aware of potential dangers and can be far away from the capitalists, looking for vulnerable individuals. If you ask me whether

this

emphesis

Correct your spelling

emphasis

emphasise

on every single new

aspects

Change to a singular noun

aspect

show examples

is acceptable or not, I will definitely say yes, by

openning

Correct your spelling

opening

intact ways of living more

comfortable

Change the word

comfortably

show examples

Submitted by amirhossein7179 on Thu Feb 22 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic, yet it lacks clear, comprehensive development of ideas. To improve, ensure each paragraph presents a distinct point clearly and fully. Expand your ideas with more precise details or examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be enhanced for clarity and impact. Make sure your thesis statement in the introduction is direct and that the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and stance.

coherence cohesion

Main points are somewhat supported, but the supports are vague or generic. Strengthen your argument by providing specific examples or data to back up your claims.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and word choice for enhanced clarity and precision. Errors in spelling and grammar can distract from your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

282 words

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in their advertising, business nowedays usually emphasise that their products are new in some ways. why is this ? do you think it is a positive or ngative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some experts, believe that it is better for children to begin learning, a foreign language at primary school, rather than secondary school, do the advantages of the outweighes the disadvantages.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more fathers are taking break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.