In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.It is therefore necessary for governments to imposw a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In many
Nation's
, a lot of individuals Change noun form
Nation
faced
various medical problems Wrong verb form
face
such
as,
obesity, heart disease, and Remove the comma
apply
blood
pressure Correct word choice
high blood
due to
fast food
consumption. In this
essay, I am totally disagree
Change the verb form
totally disagree
on
more taxation system in fast Change preposition
with
food
.
Perhaps, the most compelling rasons
for taxation is medical Correct your spelling
reason
issue
. Fix the agreement mistake
issues
Due to
eat
more restaurant products, people Change the verb form
eating
take
more Correct your spelling
make
appoinment
in Correct your spelling
appointment
appointments
Correct article usage
the hospital
hospital
. Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
As a result
, a huge numbers patients
are admitted Change preposition
of patients
into
hospitals, and authorities need to appoint Change preposition
to
morr
doctors, and they Correct your spelling
more
straggle
to look after them properly, which has a bad impact on the Correct your spelling
struggle
government
Change noun form
government's
images
. Fix the agreement mistake
image
Additionally
, the government can collect sufficient
amount Correct article usage
a sufficient
money
through taxes, which Change preposition
of money
influence to
boost up national economy. Verb problem
will
For example
, if the government collects more money from people, they can able to distribution
Replace the word
distribute
this
among less development
sectors.
On the Replace the word
developed
otherhand
, it is discouraged because of business. If Correct your spelling
other hand
food
rates are high, humans will show less interest for
buying it. Change preposition
in
As a result
, selling percentages will gradually decrease. So, unless companies are
fulfilled their daily business target, they decided to Unnecessary verb
apply
fired
up their employees. Change the verb
fire
Moreover
, humans are not interested to produce
these Change preposition
in producing
food
raw materials because of their less
income. Fix the agreement mistake
low
In addition
, most of the lower-income citizens are not able to take these foods, which hampers this
business activities. Correct determiner usage
apply
As a result
, one day there is a high chance to close
their activity. Change preposition
of closing
Besides
, it is a mentionable cause for
unemployment. Change preposition
of
For instance
, they will trying
criminal Change the verb form
try
be trying
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
for earning
money by hook or by crook.
In conclusion, Change preposition
to earn
although
, a few mankind believe that increasing toll
Correct article usage
the toll
in
luxurious foods is a good solution for Change preposition
on
reduction
health problems, there Replace the word
reducing
have
some detrimental effects and Verb problem
are
whole
population in a country will suffer Add an article
the whole
for
buying their desired Change preposition
from
food
.Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on
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task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument in a balanced way, providing clear, relevant examples to support your points. Consider refining your thesis statement to reflect a more nuanced view if you have mixed feelings about the topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay in clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific idea. Use transitional phrases to help the reader follow your argument. Be cautious of run-on sentences and try to vary your sentence structure for better readability.
general
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and incorrect word usage. Developing a clearer essay structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion will enhance coherence and cohesion.