Some people believe that television programs are no real value for children. 1.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #television #programs #value #children

A faction of people holds the notion that

television

programs

are not beneficial for young ones. I completely agree with

this

view as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.

This

essay will explain my viewpoint with relevant illustrations. First and foremost,

television

programs

which is targeting

Wrong verb form

that target

show examples

children

would cause addiction which is detrimental

for

Change preposition

show examples

their future.

This

is because juveniles spend several hours

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

television

programs

As a result

, the

children

might lose their interest in academic subjects.

Similarly

, since the

children

could not understand that

televison

Correct your spelling

television

characters

are

Verb problem

show examples

not

existing

Wrong verb form

exist

show examples

in real life, they might mimic the characters of the virtual world.

For example

, it is reported that hundreds of students believe that

Spider Man

Add a hyphen

Spider-Man

show examples

is real and they are expecting he will

recue

Correct your spelling

rescue

them whenever they are in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

trouble.

Furthermore

, another obvious effect of these

television

programs

are

Change the verb form

show examples

promoting criminal behaviour.

This

is because numerous

television

series and movies promote crimes.

As a consequence

children

might influenced by the characters in their favourite shows and commit crimes.

For example

, a crime reported in a renowned school in Korea school is inspired by a famous

television

series Squid Game.

Moreover

, young ones pester their parents to buy unwanted things by the influence of TV shows.

This

may result

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial problems, especially for

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

people. In conclusion, addiction to

television

may

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

affect

academic

Add an article

the academic

show examples

performance of

juvniles

Correct your spelling

juveniles

Influence

Correct article usage

The influence

show examples

charecters

Correct your spelling

characters

character

Change preposition

show examples

children

's favourite TV shows leads

not

Change preposition

to not

show examples

only

crimes

Change preposition

to crimes

show examples

but

also

Change preposition

to finanacial

show examples

finanacial

Correct your spelling

financial

implications. I believe that

television

programs

will not add any value

for

Change preposition

show examples

juveniles.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Fri Feb 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay is structured clearly with distinct paragraphs, and that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence which is then expanded with further explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduce a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While you have used some effectively, varying your word choice can enhance readability and coherence.

Task Response

Provide a more balanced view in your argumentation, even if you strongly agree or disagree with the statement. Consider adding a paragraph acknowledging the opposing view, then refute it with strong arguments and examples to strengthen your position.

Task Response

While you have included relevant examples, aim to elaborate your ideas further with a deeper analysis or more detailed explanation of how and why these examples support your argument. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

General Advice

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies in tense usage. These can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider revising your essay with a focus on grammar and precision in language use.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people say that sharing more information in research , business and education is good while others think some information is too valuable so it should not be shared openly. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
6
band
Please answer very good answer to this Writing task 2: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words
People are considering as an advantage the increase amount of self-drive cars in society. The present essay agrees with this idea as it is going to be safer for the community and it will allows individuals to possess extra time to perform other tasks.
<4
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is certainly true that economic progress is their most important goal and too other types of progress are equality important for a country. While some people tend towards the viewpoint that economic progress ensures a high standard of living, I would have to support the idea that other people development index, balances economic and social factors for a holistic view.
5
band
The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?
Despite the modern era and the tendency to state-of-art cities, there are some traditional regions which vary from new ones. This varieties could cause numerous challenges for contemporary citizens and infrastructures. This essay will assess the problems of them and propose some solutions to tackle problems.
6.5
band
More young people in the workforce change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this? Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?
It is well known that young people tend to change their careers every few years. Whether they do it purposely or not, it is more common for them to quit compared to Boomers. If we see the bigger picture, this is actually a more complex situation than it seems. It is related to the low salary, toxic workplace, and seniority/bullying, or even deeper, the unavailability of corporate ladder to climb upon. From my experience, the benefit of job jumping outweighs the harm. Afterall, the perfect office does not exist.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people believe that television programs are no real value for children. 1.Do you agree or disagree?

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in science research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

More young people in the workforce change their jobs or careers every few years. What are the reasons for this? Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+