Some people believe that television programs are no real value for children. 1.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #television #programs #value #children

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A faction of people holds the notion that

television

programs

are not beneficial for young ones. I completely agree with

this

view as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.

This

essay will explain my viewpoint with relevant illustrations. First and foremost,

television

programs

which is targeting

Wrong verb form

that target

show examples

children

would cause addiction which is detrimental

for

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show examples

their future.

This

is because juveniles spend several hours

for

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apply

show examples

watching

television

programs

As a result

, the

children

might lose their interest in academic subjects.

Similarly

, since the

children

could not understand that

televison

Correct your spelling

television

characters

are

Verb problem

show examples

not

existing

Wrong verb form

exist

show examples

in real life, they might mimic the characters of the virtual world.

For example

, it is reported that hundreds of students believe that

Spider Man

Add a hyphen

Spider-Man

show examples

is real and they are expecting he will

recue

Correct your spelling

rescue

them whenever they are in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

trouble.

Furthermore

, another obvious effect of these

television

programs

are

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promoting criminal behaviour.

This

is because numerous

television

series and movies promote crimes.

As a consequence

children

might influenced by the characters in their favourite shows and commit crimes.

For example

, a crime reported in a renowned school in Korea school is inspired by a famous

television

series Squid Game.

Moreover

, young ones pester their parents to buy unwanted things by the influence of TV shows.

This

may result

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial problems, especially for

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

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people. In conclusion, addiction to

television

may

Unnecessary verb

apply

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adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

affect

academic

Add an article

the academic

show examples

performance of

juvniles

Correct your spelling

juveniles

Influence

Correct article usage

The influence

show examples

charecters

Correct your spelling

characters

character

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show examples

children

's favourite TV shows leads

not

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to not

show examples

only

crimes

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to crimes

show examples

but

also

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to finanacial

show examples

finanacial

Correct your spelling

financial

implications. I believe that

television

programs

will not add any value

for

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show examples

juveniles.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Fri Feb 23 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay is structured clearly with distinct paragraphs, and that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence which is then expanded with further explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduce a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While you have used some effectively, varying your word choice can enhance readability and coherence.

Task Response

Provide a more balanced view in your argumentation, even if you strongly agree or disagree with the statement. Consider adding a paragraph acknowledging the opposing view, then refute it with strong arguments and examples to strengthen your position.

Task Response

While you have included relevant examples, aim to elaborate your ideas further with a deeper analysis or more detailed explanation of how and why these examples support your argument. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

General Advice

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies in tense usage. These can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider revising your essay with a focus on grammar and precision in language use.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Some people believe that television programs are no real value for children. 1.Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe The purpose of education should be helping to individual to become useful for society while others believe it should be help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sites and give your opinion

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at 4 years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?

In some countries the lifestyle of people is changing rapidly, and this affects family relationship. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?