Some people believe that television programs are no real value for children. 1.Do you agree or disagree?

#people #television #programs #value #children

A faction of people holds the notion that

television

programs

are not beneficial for young ones. I completely agree with

this

view as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.

This

essay will explain my viewpoint with relevant illustrations. First and foremost,

television

programs

which is targeting

Wrong verb form

that target

show examples

children

would cause addiction which is detrimental

for

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show examples

their future.

This

is because juveniles spend several hours

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

television

programs

As a result

, the

children

might lose their interest in academic subjects.

Similarly

, since the

children

could not understand that

televison

Correct your spelling

television

characters

are

Verb problem

show examples

not

existing

Wrong verb form

exist

show examples

in real life, they might mimic the characters of the virtual world.

For example

, it is reported that hundreds of students believe that

Spider Man

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Spider-Man

show examples

is real and they are expecting he will

recue

Correct your spelling

rescue

them whenever they are in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

trouble.

Furthermore

, another obvious effect of these

television

programs

are

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promoting criminal behaviour.

This

is because numerous

television

series and movies promote crimes.

As a consequence

children

might influenced by the characters in their favourite shows and commit crimes.

For example

, a crime reported in a renowned school in Korea school is inspired by a famous

television

series Squid Game.

Moreover

, young ones pester their parents to buy unwanted things by the influence of TV shows.

This

may result

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

financial problems, especially for

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

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people. In conclusion, addiction to

television

may

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

adversly

Correct your spelling

adversely

affect

academic

Add an article

the academic

show examples

performance of

juvniles

Correct your spelling

juveniles

Influence

Correct article usage

The influence

show examples

charecters

Correct your spelling

characters

character

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show examples

children

's favourite TV shows leads

not

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to not

show examples

only

crimes

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to crimes

show examples

but

also

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to finanacial

show examples

finanacial

Correct your spelling

financial

implications. I believe that

television

programs

will not add any value

for

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show examples

juveniles.

Submitted by ck.manshad on Fri Feb 23 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your essay is structured clearly with distinct paragraphs, and that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence which is then expanded with further explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Introduce a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While you have used some effectively, varying your word choice can enhance readability and coherence.

Task Response

Provide a more balanced view in your argumentation, even if you strongly agree or disagree with the statement. Consider adding a paragraph acknowledging the opposing view, then refute it with strong arguments and examples to strengthen your position.

Task Response

While you have included relevant examples, aim to elaborate your ideas further with a deeper analysis or more detailed explanation of how and why these examples support your argument. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

General Advice

Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and inconsistencies in tense usage. These can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. Consider revising your essay with a focus on grammar and precision in language use.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that television programs are no real value for children. 1.Do you agree or disagree?

Nowsadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on themselves and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In some countries,the gap between rich and poor is widening. What problems does this create? What measures can be taken to address this issue?

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss bth views and give your opinion.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.