Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, some
people
believe that going to the
cinema
for watching
Change preposition
to watch
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films
, would be useless because
people
can see them on their
phones
or tablets. others say that to be fully enjoyed with saying the
films
,
people
should go to the
cinema
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will outline these
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
viewpoints. On the one hand, those who believe that they can see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films
on their
phones
rather than going to the
cinema
have several ideas.
Firstly
, they could save
time
by watching the
films
on the electronic devices. As
people
don’t need to devote a considerable portion of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
time
to planning for going out, they would have extra
time
. They usually should arrive
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
cinema
At least 3 hours in advance to book a seat, which can be very
time
-consuming.
moreover
, they can save
money
. because
people
who would like to go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
cinema
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
should spend a great deal of
money
in order to fill up their car with petrol which is very expensive. If
people
can see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films
on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
phones
, they will avoid
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
wasting their
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
expensive fuel.
on the other hand
, some
people
State several reasons for going to the
cinema
. They can see the
films
on the biggest screen which can be very enjoyable. As it can give the
audiences
Fix the agreement mistake
audience
show examples
a sense of excitement which can add to the pleasure of the film itself.
This
is because the actors and other elements in the film are bigger than usual. What’s more, they believe that seeing the feelings
along with
other
people
in the
cinema
could be more enjoyable than other ways of seeing a film. Because a lot of
people
are present in the
cinema
which could create the sound by encouraging a character or shouting. Dysfunction can be energizing which leads
people
to
having
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a sense of more satisfaction. in conclusion, some
people
say that they could save
time
and
money
by seeing the feelings on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
phones
,
whereas
, others believe that the excitement of the biggest screen and other
people
led to having more satisfaction I hold the view that going to
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
with the more enjoyable.
Submitted by izzetmiski17 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is clear and logically structured. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and use examples or explanations to support these ideas effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state the topics being discussed and your viewpoint. Make sure to restate your opinion in the conclusion for a stronger impact.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas by providing more specific examples and explanations. This will help demonstrate a full understanding of the topic and strengthen your arguments.
Language
Check for grammatical errors and work on sentence structure to improve readability. Consider varying sentence length and complexity for a more engaging essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
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