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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the birth rate, population growth rate and death rate from 1940 until 2020 in Scotland. The three different variables are measured in percentages

The line graph shows the birth rate, population growth rate and death rate from 1940 until 2020 in Scotland. The three different variables are measured in percentages
#line #birth #rate #population #growth #death #scotland #three #variables #percentages
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 graph
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
shows a graph from
scotland
Change the capitalization
Scotland
show examples
 about the
Birth
rate
,
population
 growth
rate
 and
finally
death
rate
 from 1940
al
Correct your spelling
all
show examples
 the way until 2020. We are given 3 statistics, from
scotland
Change the capitalization
Scotland
show examples
 over the years. it
also
 gives us
persenajes
Correct your spelling
percentages
personages
 and the years from when they started to record until now. The 3 different statistics are all mainly going in a down word position. We can
se
Correct your spelling
see
 that the
population
 growth
rate
 increased in the
1960
Correct your spelling
1960s
however
if
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 fell down from there very mildly all the way to the 2000's.The
death
rate
 has
also
 decreased more over it has started to
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 reasonably. 3rd the
birth
rate
 has
also
 decreased
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 1940 it was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2.5% but now in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2020 it is in the 1%. The
birth
,
population
 growth and
death
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 all started above
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
where they are now,
Birth
 started at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2.5
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 and perished
under
Change preposition
at under
show examples
 1 percent. The
population
also
 started under 1% and finished at almost
nule
Correct your spelling
null
. the only one that
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
 chase
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
was the
death
rate
witch
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 started
1.5
Change preposition
at 1.5
show examples
% and
finish
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
 at 1%.
Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, rate, population, death with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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