IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #investment #transport #systems #reductions #ticket #prices #pollution
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Nowadays, with a globalized world, some argue that if the government put higher funds into public
vehicles
 and reduced the fee for tickets would lead to a dramatic decrease in
transport
pollution
. To be honest, I, firmly agree with
this
 statement, and in
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss the reasons for
this
 and provide examples to support my point of view.
To begin
 with, it is not undoubtedly if public
transport
 had cheaper prices that would be more convenient for citizens to use it. In my country, Indonesia, which is still a developing country, we do have several options for public
transport
 and of course with several choices of price.
For example
, Massive Rapid
Transportation
 or MRT, a high-speed train in the heart of the city has a higher ticket fee rather than LRT or Light Rapid
Transportation
.
Consequently
, LRT become the most popular
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public
transportation
 among many people.
Secondly
, huge
pollution
 was introduced because of the massive production of carbon dioxide by many
vehicles
 that we
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
It is clear that
 if the government could change people's habits from using private
vehicles
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 public
transport
 that would crucially reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
. As an example, the executive could make a policy to obligate their people to use public
vehicles
 on weekdays, if not there are amercements to paid for. In conclusion, I agree that dropping the price of public
transportation
 could make a significant impact on reducing
pollution
 in a city greatly.
Submitted by anjanadmr on

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task achievement
Work on developing your main points with more specific examples and evidence to support your argument. Incorporating statistics or studies could offer stronger support.
coherence and cohesion
Attempt to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.
general
Consider revising your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensuring the correct usage of vocabulary. This could improve the clarity of your ideas and overall presentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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