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Band 5

Most schools offer some type of physical education prgram to their studetns. Why is it important. Should physical education clasess be required or optional

#schools #offer #type #education #prgram #studetns #clasess
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Correct article usage
The majority
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Majority
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The majority
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 of schools included physical
education
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 as a
part
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 of their curriculum. In
this
Linking Words
 concurrent world, physical
education
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 is essential for
physical
Add an article
the physical
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 and mental well-being of
students
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. I believe that physical
education
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 should be a compulsory
part
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 of educational programs as ample reasons are present to substantiate it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will delve into the importance of
this
Linking Words
education
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 with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, physical
education
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 enables
healthy
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a healthy
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 lifestyle for the
students
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.
In other words
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, nowadays juveniles are in the clutches of unhealthy food habits
such
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 as fast foods, chocolate and chips.
As a result
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,
the
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apply
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obesity and lifestyle diseases are prevalent among the young ones.By providing professional awareness about
the
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apply
show examples
physical activities and diet, it can be reduced
in
Change preposition
to
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 a great
extend
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extent
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.
Moreover
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, the space
constrain
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constraints
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 in most
of
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apply
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cities
has
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have
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 increased, in turn, play ground
are
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is
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utillized
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utilized
utilised
 for commercial and residential development. As a
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
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consequences
Add a comma
consequences,
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 juveniles do not have
play ground
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playground
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comapred
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compared
 to the bygone days.
Furthermore
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, It is important to include physical activities as a
part
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 of
educational
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the educational
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 program as the early age is vital for developing good habits. In detail, school days are the perfect time to start a habit which can be
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
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life long
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lifelong
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.
Therefore
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, physical
education
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 should be considered as important as other subjects.
Besides
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, teachers can identify and promote inborn talented sports
personals
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personnel
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. To illustrate, the famous
indian
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Indian
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 cricketer Sachin
Tendulker
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Tendulkar
 innate talent is fortified by the physical
education
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 teacher in the school. Physical
education
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 is imperative for the mental well-being of
students
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. Perfect mental and physical health is
require
Wrong verb form
required
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 for
the
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apply
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academic development. In conclusion, Physical
education
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 would enable
healthy
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a healthy
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 lifestyle for
students
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. Since early age is considered
as
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apply
show examples
the
habit developing
Add a hyphen
habit-developing
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 stage, I believe that it should be an essential
part
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 of educational programs. Importance of physical
education
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 it is
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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maintain
Change the verb form
maintaining
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heatth
Correct your spelling
health
healthy
, more
studetns
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students
 are
obesity
Replace the word
obese
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. no space at home. parents are busy. they can
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 life long. talented sports
students
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 can discover early life. mental
well- being
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
, away from stress,
Submitted by ck.manshad on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Try to make smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and details. You mention the importance of physical education in developing healthy habits and identifying talented individuals, but more concrete examples or statistical evidence would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Avoid repetition by using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures. Rephrasing your ideas differently can make your argument more compelling.
general
Pay attention to minor spelling and grammatical errors, as they can distract from your message. Proofreading your essay can help enhance its clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Consider introducing opposing views or potential challenges to the importance of physical education. Addressing counterarguments can provide a more balanced perspective and demonstrate critical thinking skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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