IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that tourists should follow the traditional customs of the host country. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #tourists #customs #host #country
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With the boom of
tourists
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 around the world. Some
people
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 believe that should
people
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 who visit
countries
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 follow the traditional customs of that
country
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. I totally agree with
this
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 statement.
people
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 know the importance of traditional
countries
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 so should follow them. On the one hand,
tourists
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 must pay attention to the
traditions
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 of the
country
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 that they visit because that will allow them to learn new things and see how the
people
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 of that
country
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 live.
Furthermore
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, following the tradition will reduce the risk may be will happen as some
countries
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 very stuck with
people
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 that ignore
traditions
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.
For example
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, some Islamic
countries
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 do not allow
people
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 to wear clothes that are not good for the traditional.
In addition
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,
tourists
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 travel overseas to see how
people
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 live and what the life system of that
country
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 is.
On the other hand
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,
tourists
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 may have some difficulty following the
traditions
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 of a specific
country
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 because some
countries
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 have very special styles.
Moreover
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, to travel to a
country
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 should have some idea about that
country
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 to know how to deal with
people
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 over her
that is
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 what will make
people
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 afraid a little bit of how
people
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 think about them.
For example
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,
tourists
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 visiting a
country
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 with very cold should follow the
people
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 of that
country
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 to allow them to live and see the
country
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's places.
To conclude
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, I believe that one of the very important to
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 overseas is to learn and see the
traditions
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 of
countries
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 around the world so it is good changes to follow the
traditions
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 of a
country
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 to learn and have a good time with
people
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 from another
country
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.
Submitted by Abdullah on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your introduction should succinctly introduce the topic and your viewpoint. The body should elaborate on your points with examples or evidence, and the conclusion should summarise your argument.
paragraphDevelopment
Work on developing each paragraph with a clear main idea and supporting details. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that states the main idea, followed by explanations or examples.
taskResponse
To improve task achievement, make sure your essay fully addresses the question. This includes stating your position clearly and developing it with specific, relevant examples. Avoid broad statements.
coherenceCohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help your essay flow better and make your argument more convincing.
grammar
Review and correct grammatical errors and work on sentence structure. Accurate grammar and varied sentence structures will significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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