IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth

The diagram below show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The figure describes the stages in the life of a silkworm and how the
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth is produced. The silkworm's journey starts as an egg, and within 10 days it hatches into a larva utilising the mulberry leaves as food. After 4-6 weeks it starts producing
silk
Use synonyms
 thread for its protective cocoon, and
thus
Linking Words
 the process is completed in 3-8 days. It takes the silkworm 16 days to metamorphose into a moth and emerge from its cocoon. The production of
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth starts with the selection of well-formed cocoons, which are
subsequently
Linking Words
 boiled in water within specialised chambers. The cocoons disintegrate, unwinding into threads between 300-900nm. These are eventually twisted, weaved and dyed as per choice to beautiful
silk
Use synonyms
 cloth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words silk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • life cycle
  • silkworm
  • stages
  • production
  • silk cloth
  • overview
  • explanation
  • comparison
  • processes
  • conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: