IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph show the average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services

The graph show the average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services
#show #expenditure #cell #phone #services
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The given line graph illustrates the typical
expenditure
Use synonyms
 every year on
cell
Use synonyms
 and residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 from 2001 to 2010. Units are measured in dollars.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that the two
services
Use synonyms
 have different
expenditure
Use synonyms
 trends.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 the
cost
Use synonyms
 of
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 rose,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
expenditure
Use synonyms
 declined throughout the given period. In terms of the service with the highest level of
expenditure
Use synonyms
, the
cost
Use synonyms
 of
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 started at just over $200 in 2001. In the following years, the
cost
Use synonyms
 soared by $100 and
then
Linking Words
 experienced a slight increase to just above $300. From
this
Linking Words
 point onwards, the expense witnessed a significant growth to approximately $600 in 2007. The
expenditure
Use synonyms
 reached a peak of around $750 in 2010. Regarding the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 service
expenditure
Use synonyms
 with lower levels, the residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 stood at just under $700 in 2001.
However
Linking Words
, after
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
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, the
services
Use synonyms
 fell by roughly $300. In 2006, the
cost
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 had
intersect
Change the verb form
intersected
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 with the
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
expenditure
Use synonyms
 at about $550. In 2010, the expense of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
services
Use synonyms
 hit its lowest level at just above $400.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, cell, phone, services, cost with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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