IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

In many countries people use electric devices for daily house chores while some think it is an expensive energy source and we ought to use gas instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.?

#countries #people #devices #house #chores #think #energy #source #gas
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Innovation of technology is fast-paced
that
Correct word choice
and
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 there are a lot of
invention
Replace the word
inventive
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design
Fix the agreement mistake
designs
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 for home appliances. Mostly, countries
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
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 to
use
Use synonyms
electical
Correct your spelling
electrical
 devices for everyday
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 at home.
Linking Words
While other
Correct word choice
Other
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 point of view is still better to
use
Use synonyms
 gas to conserve energy consumption. Having electrical appliances can make our lives easy,
Correct word choice
and comfort
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comfort
Replace the word
comfortable
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 and save more time.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, electricity bills
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 expensive, especially
to
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in
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 those areas with high power costs.
For instance
Linking Words
, cleaning the house using
vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
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 and scrubber can save time and comfort.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we can
use
Use synonyms
 both. For cooking and
heating
Add a comma
heating,
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 we can
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gas
while
Linking Words
 electricity for
other significant task
Change the wording
another significant task
other significant tasks
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 that gives us
conventent
Correct your spelling
convenience
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would argue that using
of
Change preposition
apply
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electrical devices
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 much way better than gas especially if
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
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leaving
Wrong verb form
are living
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 alone and working as well.
Submitted by quilisadioanalyn19 on

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Introduction Clarity
Try to clearly introduce the topic and your viewpoint in the introductory paragraph. It establishes a foundation for the reader.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Supporting Details
Develop your main points more thoroughly. Providing more detailed examples and explanations will strengthen your arguments.
Task Response
Ensure you address all parts of the task. Discuss both views thoroughly before offering your opinion.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to make your writing more professional.
Essay Structure
Consider the balance between paragraphs. Devote similar lengths to discussing both views and your own opinion to ensure a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • daily house chores
  • expensive energy source
  • electric devices
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • renewable sources
  • carbon footprint
  • fossil fuels
  • cost-effective
  • safety risks
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmental sustainability
  • optimal solution
  • advancement
  • renewable energy sources
  • viable
  • eco-friendly
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