IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Austrailian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Austrailian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#first #energy #austrailian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #information #features
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The pie charts illustrate the energy consumption pattern of houses in Australia and the percentage contribution of these to
greenhouse
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. It is observed that maximum energy is utilised for heating,
however
Linking Words
 it has a relatively lower contribution to
greenhouse
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, household appliances excluding fridges, light fixtures and cooling, take up to 13% of total energy usage but are responsible for 28% of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
. Water heating is the second biggest reason for electricity consumption in Australia but at 32%, has the highest percentage of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, refrigerators, lights and cooling devices are collectively responsible for 13 % of all domestic power consumption and
makeup
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make up
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 25% of total
greenhouse
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Submitted by surabhichattree on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words greenhouse, emissions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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