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Band 3

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
Looking back on the
last
 two generations, our parents
receive
Wrong verb form
received
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 education system
that is
 regulated to include both sexes. The pre-organized mechanism allows both male and female
students
 to understand each other better
as well as
 to create a better environment for the
students
 to come up with a variety of solutions when facing difficulties.
Therefore
, I strongly agree that universities ought to accept fair numbers of male and female
students
 in all subjects.
To begin
 with,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 is a place where people learn.
In other words
, no one should be excluded or limited
to choose
Change preposition
in choosing
show examples
 what they want to take part in.
Also
, with equal sexes in classes,
students
 can exchange different ideas from
opposite
Add an article
the opposite
show examples
 sex
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
according to
 a study,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stimulates
students
 to think. Next to go would be, no one can deny that universities are stepping stones of the fickle society. If a student
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
go to a university that only
accept
Change the verb form
accepts
show examples
 males or females, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not be
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
fledge
Correct word choice
prepared
show examples
 to deal with various problems that will be encountered after they graduate.
To sum up
, based on the abovementioned, history is the mirror of tomorrow;
thus
,
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
taking in the same amount of male and
females
Change the noun form
female
show examples
students
 would accelerate
students
’ learning efficiency.
Submitted by alperenyakut on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your score, make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have one main idea supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structure by ensuring a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively.
task achievement
Engage with the prompt more critically by presenting a balanced view before stating your position. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic and improve your task achievement score.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and improve clarity and comprehensiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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