Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, females and males are at equal status. In many ways,
girls
can do some difficult jobs like working in a factory and even more
better than Change the word
apply
boys
. In addition
, man
can be a nurse and more careful than women. Fix the agreement mistake
men
Thus
, in universities, of course
they should accept equal numbers of male and female Add a comma
course,
student
in every subject for university may affect what Fix the agreement mistake
students
people
do in the future.
In the past, there were few or even no boys
studied
nursing for they had stereotype-nursing was not suit Correct pronoun usage
who studied
boys
because it was too ‘female.’ Besides
, people
thought men were not careful, they were careless and it would be dangerous to patients. However
, this
stereotype caused males not to got
into nursing even though how much they wanted to be.
Wrong verb form
get
Besides
, it was the same condition as girls
. Girls
were limited by their parents or people
’s thought
. What Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
girls
studied were nursing, English, French or something more ‘quiet’ instead
of powerful. For example
, if female
majored in Correct article usage
a female
mechanic
, Fix the agreement mistake
mechanics
people
would think, “What? You get into mechanic
?” “What can you do in the future? You are not stronger than men, what you should do is teacher or secretary, so you should choose other Add an article
a mechanic
subjects
.” Therefore
, how unfair it was.
No one can decide what boys
and girls
want to be, people
should not depend on their thought
to consider what they Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
suit
for. There are no Wrong verb form
are suited
absolutely
answers that men should do what and women should Change the word
absolute
studied
what. Change the verb form
study
Consequently
, just accept them instead
of say
something to let them listen to your Change the verb form
saying
advices
and be the person you want them to be.
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
To sum up
, I agree that equal numbers of boys
and girls
access
to every Add a missing verb
have access
subjects
in university. Do not dwell in the past, Change to a singular noun
subject
people
should change their thought
and make a more Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
diversity
society. Try to respect Replace the word
diverse
others
decision and their Change noun form
others'
other's
subjects
or works rather than use gender to decide what they should be or what subjects
what
they should major in.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by alperenyakut on
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Task Achievement
Focus on developing a clear and concise thesis statement that directly addresses the question posed. Your introduction should clearly state your position regarding the topic.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Avoid general statements and strive to provide concrete examples that directly relate to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a logical structure by planning it before you start writing. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas, and make sure there is a clear progression from the introduction through the main body to the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader to understand the relationship between different parts of your essay and improve the overall flow of your writing.
General
Re-read your essay to check for grammatical errors and to ensure that your sentences are clear and concise. Complex sentences can be effective, but they should be used appropriately and with care.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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