Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any other experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

As some reports state, “The features we have naturally have much more effect on our personality and development than other
experiences
that we have in our life.”
This
is a controversial issue and it makes people
confusing
Correct word choice
confused about
show examples
which
one
is the major influence that affects
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
. For me, I think both of them are important;
however
,
experiences
have
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
higher influence on us. Edison said, “Genius is
one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
inspiration and ninety-nine
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
perspiration.” I agree with it very much. Edison had some learning problems when he was little;
however
, he worked very hard, trying more than 1000 kinds of bulbs and
invented
Wrong verb form
inventing
show examples
the most useful thing, light in our world. He experienced a
lot
of mistakes and achieved great work. It shows that maybe he was not the smartest person, but a perseverant
one
. Take another person
for example
, Stanley Yan,
one
of the hotel presidents, wasn’t a good student at school.
However
, he went to a delivery company to become a fundamental employee and tried his best to learn. Through a
lot
of hard work, he became the president of the company. Afterwards, his leadership ability caught other people’s eyes;
thus
, he was asked to become the president of the hotel.
From these
Change preposition
These
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examples,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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prove that experience may have more influence
to make
Change preposition
on making
show examples
people successful. After a
lot
of stress, mistakes, and hard work, the harvest of them all
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
much more meaningful.
To sum up
, in my opinion, the
experiences
you have may change your life. You can turn your weak personality or development into your strength by training yourself. Getting through a
lot
of
experiences
will make you stronger.
Submitted by alperenyakut on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear structure by having distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Introduce your thesis in the introduction, support it in the body, and restate or summarize it in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by adding transitional phrases or words between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in making the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Directly address the question posed in the topic within your introduction, and make sure to include a sentence stating your opinion clearly. This helps in achieving a higher score in task response.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, detailed examples. While personal anecdotes can strengthen an argument, incorporating a range of examples, including from reputable sources, can provide a more balanced perspective.
task achievement
To further improve your essay, focus on expanding your ideas with more depth and detail. Avoid shallow or overly broad statements; instead, aim for more insightful, nuanced explanations of how experiences influence personality and development.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nature vs. nurture debate
  • genetic inheritance
  • personality traits
  • behavior patterns
  • heritability
  • twins studies
  • malleable characteristics
  • upbringing
  • environmental influences
  • critical periods
  • language acquisition
  • worldview
  • innate traits
  • personal experiences
  • psychological development
  • epigenetics
  • adaptive behaviors
  • cultural imprinting
  • temperament
  • social conditioning
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