IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that nations should give money to develop train services has become more important nowadays.
However
Linking Words
, an opposing view is expressed by people who think that paying more money to change regular ways facilities to be better is more useful. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, a large number of individuals are convinced that spending high prices to provide perfect services in railways is important for its benefits.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the corroding in UAE, the government worked to develop a railway to help citizens transfer from
one
Use synonyms
 place to another
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
more easily.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, the government worked to reduce the crowding of cars. At the same time, no
one
Use synonyms
 feels nervous or angry about the comfort provided by the metro.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a host of progressive protests that roads are more significant these days in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 for many reasons. First of all, it is easy to use cars or buses to move from
one
Use synonyms
 place to another
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
without waiting time to start the trip.
For instance
Linking Words
, when anybody has trouble and needs to go to a hospital
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 easier to move on
road
Add an article
the road
a road
show examples
. All in all, the government should try to develop roads
due to
Linking Words
 their importance for humans in emergency cases like accidents.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the railways are essential to reduce the large number of cars and buses on roads.
Submitted by hafsaalbadi199 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to clearly structure your essay into paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose. Your introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, followed by body paragraphs that provide arguments and examples, and then a conclusion summarizing your stance.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, explicitly state your viewpoint on whether you agree or disagree with the statement. It's important to ensure the reader knows your stance.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Specific real-world examples or data can strengthen your argument significantly.
task achievement
Try to maintain consistency in your argument. If you agree or disagree with the statement, ensure this is reflected throughout your essay, from the introduction to the conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays: