IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people believe that the problem of illegal drugs can be solved by just legalising all drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #drugs
Some
people
 claim that prohibited
drugs
 must be legalized in order to solve illegal
drug
 use.
However
, I do not agree
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 notion because it can significantly increase the number of
drug
 users and it can ruin the
lives
 of
people
.
Drug
 abuse is a common problem in every part of the world. Legalising its use can increase the number of
drug
 addicts worldwide. If the government make it readily available
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
,
drug
 addicts will continue their habit, and it can stir the curiosity of other
people
 to try it. It is known that these prohibited
drugs
 cause dependence.
As a result
, there is a high chance that more individuals will get addicted to it.
Thus
, making it legal
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can cause more harm
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
In addition
 to that, illegal
drugs
 are widely known to have
ruin
Change the verb form
ruined
show examples
 the
lives
 of many
people
. It has resulted
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 job loss, homelessness, dependence, and psychological disorders.
For instance
, celebrities who became addicted to illegal
drugs
 have lost their fortune because of it. Some even committed suicide. If it
will become
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
 legal, the
lives
 of children and young adults will be at risk, as they are at the stage where they are curious and the pressure from their peers can tempt them to try it. In conclusion, legalising prohibited
drugs
 is not the solution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 solving its illegal use.
On the contrary
, it can only exacerbate the current problems associated with it.
Moreover
, the number of
drug
 users will likely rise and disrupt the
lives
 of many
people
.
Submitted by yoko.onerom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction for a stronger argument. Avoid broad claims without specific examples.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly with detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively. This includes transitional phrases, referencing, and substitution.
coherence and cohesion
Structure your paragraphs clearly with a topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. This helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the conclusion by summarizing your key points more explicitly and restating your position in a more impactful manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • illegal drugs
  • legalisation/legalization
  • drug trafficking
  • regulate
  • stigma
  • addiction treatment
  • drug use
  • addiction rates
  • ethical concerns
  • negative health effects
  • trafficked illegally
  • law enforcement
  • comprehensive education
  • addiction treatment services
  • nuanced approach
  • drug policy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: