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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

In some countries around the world, voting is compulsory. To what extent do you agree with the notion of compulsory voting.

#countries #world #notion
Nowadays many think that modern technology has brought
people
 together.
However
, others say that it has driven us apart. On the one hand
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
 we can communicate with the help of messengers with
people
 all over the world,
messages
Correct word choice
and messages
show examples
 are delivered instantly.
For example
, I have
brother
Add an article
a brother
show examples
 in Croatia and we can chat with each other we are on different sides of Earth though.
Moreover
, video games are good for searching
friends
Change preposition
for friends
show examples
 and these games are based on modern technologies.
On the other hand
is that
Verb problem
,
show examples
people
 talk less with each other in real
life
, they can’t meet new
people
 on the street or in the park.
In addition
, I see it in my
life
. I really seldom have a walk or go to restaurants with my
friends
.
Furthermore
, many just stay at home and don’t go outside even alone for an hour because of phones and computers.
To conclude
, I can say that
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
both statements are true, I mean if someone has no
friends
 relation in
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is better than nothing. But in inverse
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 phones and messengers can make
life
 worse if you
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spend a lot of time watching videos and memes. In my example, technologies make my personal
life
 worse and I move away from my 
friends
.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly introduce the topic and your stance on it in the first paragraph. This helps set the stage for your argument and gives readers a clear understanding of what to expect.
Task Achievement
Try to develop each of your main points further with more examples or explanations. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on creating seamless transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve flow. This can involve using transitional phrases or ensuring that each paragraph logically follows from the one before it.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion clearly summarizes your main points and restates your position. A strong conclusion can help reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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