some people thinnk that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, howerver, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your opinion
It is true that
education
plays a crucial role in human's
life. Some think that unisex Change noun form
human
education
is the best whereas
others say that coed schools
bring numerous benefits to learners. This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, same-gender schooling can build more confidence whether boys or girls they can raise their hands if any doubts during class time, and as a result
, shy and nervous stay far away when they study in separate schools
. In addition
, when students learn unisex education
while
they do not distract from their Correct word choice
apply
education
, so their academic performance is on the board. For example
, the UK has 92 same-sex schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
boy's
schooling Fix the agreement mistake
boys'
along with
134 girls' schools
, so their future is guarantee
without getting Wrong verb form
guaranteed
suffer
to get employment Verb problem
apply
due to
they focus only their
Change preposition
on their
education
in schools
.
On the other hand
, mixed institutions help to mingle the
both genders in Remove the article
apply
teenage
period it aids Add an article
the teenage
to understand
the opposite gender's physical changes, ability and thought, and Change preposition
in understanding
as a result
, teamwork
could be built. For instance
, mixed school's
academic results and scores are Change noun form
school
in
Change preposition
at
high
level as compared to the unisex because of the Correct article usage
a high
teamwork
. To be more precise, in working place
both sexes people should Correct your spelling
workplace
joint
together to work, so studying in coed is one kind of practice for entering real life. Needless to say, when students learn in mixed Correct your spelling
join
schools
they respect to
the opposite sexes.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
although
learning in separate education
builds confidences
and Fix the agreement mistake
confidence
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
disrtactions
from Correct your spelling
distractions
distraction
syllabus
, studying in mixed tuition brings Add an article
the syllabus
teamwork
and practice in working places. However
, in my opinion, about this
, I completely agree with
that mixed Change preposition
apply
schools
bring more benefits to pupils because it helps teamwork
among pupils.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay maintains logical flow throughout. While your essay generally has a clear structure, ensuring smoother transitions and more explicit connections between ideas could enhance its coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should effectively bookend your essay, laying out your stance and summarizing your argument. Aim for a stronger concluding statement that reinforces your viewpoint more decisively.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task, presenting a clear opinion and discussing both views. To improve, try to ensure your opinion is consistently clear throughout the essay, not just at the beginning and end.
task achievement
To enhance clarity, aim for more precise language and avoid repetition. Fine-tuning your sentence structure and vocabulary will help express your ideas more succinctly and compellingly.
task achievement
Incorporating a wider range of examples and evidences to support your main points can strengthen your argument. This not only demonstrates a broad understanding of the topic but also makes your essay more persuasive.
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