some people thinnk that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, howerver, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. discuss both these views and give your opinion

It is true that
education
plays a crucial role in
human's
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human
show examples
life. Some think that unisex
education
is the best
whereas
others say that coed
schools
bring numerous benefits to learners.
This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons. On the one hand, same-gender schooling can build more confidence whether boys or girls they can raise their hands if any doubts during class time, and
as a result
, shy and nervous stay far away when they study in separate
schools
.
In addition
, when students learn unisex
education
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they do not distract from their
education
, so their academic performance is on the board.
For example
, the UK has 92 same-sex
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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boy's
Fix the agreement mistake
boys'
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schooling
along with
134 girls'
schools
, so their future is
guarantee
Wrong verb form
guaranteed
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without getting
suffer
Verb problem
apply
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to get employment
due to
they focus only
their
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on their
show examples
education
in
schools
.
On the other hand
, mixed institutions help to mingle
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both genders in
teenage
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the teenage
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period it aids
to understand
Change preposition
in understanding
show examples
the opposite gender's physical changes, ability and thought, and
as a result
,
teamwork
could be built.
For instance
, mixed
school's
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school
show examples
academic results and scores are
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
level as compared to the unisex because of the
teamwork
. To be more precise, in working
place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
both sexes people should
joint
Correct your spelling
join
show examples
together to work, so studying in coed is one kind of practice for entering real life. Needless to say, when students learn in mixed
schools
they respect
to
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apply
show examples
the opposite sexes. In conclusion,
although
learning in separate
education
builds
confidences
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confidence
show examples
and
less
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fewer
show examples
disrtactions
Correct your spelling
distractions
distraction
from
syllabus
Add an article
the syllabus
show examples
, studying in mixed tuition brings
teamwork
and practice in working places.
However
, in my opinion, about
this
, I completely agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that mixed
schools
bring more benefits to pupils because it helps
teamwork
among pupils.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay maintains logical flow throughout. While your essay generally has a clear structure, ensuring smoother transitions and more explicit connections between ideas could enhance its coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should effectively bookend your essay, laying out your stance and summarizing your argument. Aim for a stronger concluding statement that reinforces your viewpoint more decisively.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task, presenting a clear opinion and discussing both views. To improve, try to ensure your opinion is consistently clear throughout the essay, not just at the beginning and end.
task achievement
To enhance clarity, aim for more precise language and avoid repetition. Fine-tuning your sentence structure and vocabulary will help express your ideas more succinctly and compellingly.
task achievement
Incorporating a wider range of examples and evidences to support your main points can strengthen your argument. This not only demonstrates a broad understanding of the topic but also makes your essay more persuasive.

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