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Band 4

In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth
The elderly are being respected well in some regions, but some countries believe that younger generations are more important. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views
as well as
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
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 my own opinion. On one hand, possessing experiences and comprehensive knowledge of elderly people has uplifted their position in the public.
This
 is because the accumulation of different life-related skills
such
 as resolving problems and deciding solutions has expanded their horizons.
Thus
,
such
 gained wisdom is crucial for the orientation and guidance of the young generation to the correct path.
Therefore
, elders have
owned
Verb problem
apply
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a high level of consideration in society
On the other hand
, youths have been given a high priority.
To begin
 with, a main reason for
this
 tendency is
the
Change the word
their
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 physical and mental potentialities
of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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which play a pivotal role in the country’s development,
whereas
 many senior individuals may lag behind.
Moreover
, the competence in dealing with state-of-the-art technological aspects has offered a leading place for the youth. From my perspective, the progression of a country is often based on the innovative minds and strengths of workers who can be synchronized with the contemporary world, where the youth mostly plays a key role.
Hence
, I opine that it is needed to promote the youth over the old. In conclusion, The
diffrent
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different
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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 of age have a role for taking the way to
attach
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apply
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some
problem
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problems
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 and work in any nation.
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Task Achievement
To enhance your essay, focus on integrating more specific examples to support your main points. This will add depth to your argument and help substantiate your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score, aim to ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Using a wider range of connecting words and phrases can help create a more cohesive narrative.
Overall Writing Quality
While your essay covers the task well, improving the diversity of your sentence structures can make your writing more engaging. Experiment with complex sentence patterns for a more sophisticated expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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