IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pictures illustrate the process for producing jam from cherries

The diagram illustrates the process of turning
cherries
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 into
jam
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. In general, there are nine main stages in the process, starting with collecting the
cherries
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 and ending with sticking a label on the jars of
jam
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.
First,
Linking Words
farmers use a sheet to spread on the ground and the tree is shaken to get the
cherries
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. After that, the
cherries
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 are collected
then
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 delivered to the carrier and transported to the processing plant, where the leaves and stems are removed.
Then
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 the
cherries
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 are washed and transported to the area with specialised machines to separate the core from the fruit.
Next,
Linking Words
the
cherries
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 are cooked. There are some ingredients added including sugar, lemon juice and pectin to enhance the flavour of the
jam
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. After the
jam
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 is completed, it will be evaluated by appraisers. If the
jam
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 meets standards, it will be put into jars with the label affixed to the outside.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure the essay flows logically from one idea to the next by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help to guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce each stage of the process with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences that provide more detail. This structure will help to keep your essay organized and make your descriptions clearer.
Task Achievement
For better task achievement, ensure that you provide a comprehensive overview of the process together with a clear and succinct summary of the main stages. This will help to demonstrate a clearer understanding of the process described.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures and rich vocabulary related to the process of making jam. This will help to make your response more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
While you have provided relevant examples and detailed descriptions, make sure every point you include is directly related to the main topic. Avoid including any information that might seem irrelevant or off-topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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