IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

you have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in Australia, for someone to teach their teo children your language for a year.

#advertisement #couple #australia #someone #teo #children #language #year
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir or Madam, I trust you're well. I saw your ad for a language teacher for your kids. I believe I'm a good fit. I know three languages
besides
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 my own and I'm learning a new one. To make teaching easier, I have a couple of requests.
Firstly
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, could you arrange a round-trip ticket for me?
Also
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, a warm room with two windows would be great for our lessons.
Secondly
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, getting an English-Spanish or German vocabulary book would help our sessions.
Besides
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 teaching, I can help with chores like washing dishes and feeding pets if you're not home. After facing financial difficulties, your ad gave me hope. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards, JScrooge
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address all parts of the task. While you introduced general points about language teaching and your experiences, more specific details regarding how you would approach teaching the couple's children your language for a year are needed.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion. Begin by directly stating your intention to apply for the position and conclude by summarizing your main points or expressing enthusiasm for the opportunity.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by organizing it into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. This structure will help guide the reader through your text more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay can be improved by linking ideas more clearly. Use a variety of connecting words to show the relationship between ideas and ensure seamless transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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