Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, education is the most essential for developing good behaviour in the world. Some people prefer to send their

children

Use synonyms

to private

schools

Use synonyms

and should not pay

taxes

Use synonyms

because they believe that support the state education system. Personally, I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

view. First and foremost, private

schools

Use synonyms

have an abundance of benefits for some

students

Use synonyms

who can be more intensive in learning courses

such

Linking Words

as mathematics, physics, language, and other subjects.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

parents

Use synonyms

should pay more money because their

children

Use synonyms

study more intensively than other

students

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, some

students

Use synonyms

in Indonesia prefer to study in boarding

schools

Use synonyms

rather than general

schools

Use synonyms

which are provided by the government. They believe that their

children

Use synonyms

who study in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

boarding

schools

Use synonyms

are faster in receiving materials and more efficient for brainstorming with their tutors.

Consequently

Linking Words

, some

parents

Use synonyms

should pay more

taxes

Use synonyms

to give salaries to their teachers.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, private

schools

Use synonyms

are quieter than general

schools

Use synonyms

because

students

Use synonyms

in private classes have no more than 5

students

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when

taxes

Use synonyms

are covered by governments

who

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are more expensive to develop good behaviour.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they should pay more money to get more amenities

such

Linking Words

as parking and reporting.

For example

Linking Words

, in boarding

schools

Use synonyms

, some

students

Use synonyms

have advanced technology to support their materials.

In addition

Linking Words

, when teachers who give taught about the process of earthquake mitigation

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

easier to explain using 3D video because it is more interactive. So, it is not cheap to prepare all

materials

Correct article usage

the materials

show examples

in the boarding

schools

Use synonyms

. I believe that the government should not be required to pay

taxes

Use synonyms

because some

parents

Use synonyms

who have a responsibility to pay

taxes

Use synonyms

are higher than other

parents

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, some

parents

Use synonyms

should pay more

taxes

Use synonyms

to get more facilities because the government does not cover

taxes

Use synonyms

for getting extra time to learn for their

children

Use synonyms

ru.kabiru.biruSun Feb 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

You provided a clear stance in the introduction, which is positive. However, to improve your Task Achievement score, ensure your arguments are directly related to the topic. Specifically, focus on the argument that families using private schools should or should not pay taxes for state education. Clarify and directly address the implications of not paying taxes on public education.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a recognizable structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is good for Coherence and Cohesion. To enhance it further, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Using phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'For example,' in a more strategic manner can help guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.

Task Achievement

Support your main points with more relevant examples and explanations directly tied to the question prompt. While examples from the Indonesian education system are valuable, ensure they are explicitly linked to the discussion about tax obligations and the support of the state education system. Strengthen your argument by providing more detailed evidence and analysis on how these examples support your stance on the tax issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

tax exemption
public education
private schools
collective responsibility
societal welfare
equitable access
financial burden
social cohesion
tax credits
vouchers
subsidies
state-funded
socioeconomic disparities
public vs. private sector
quality of education

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
A 'cashless society' is one where people use debit/credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages?
Money is any item or medium of exchange that symbolizes value. It is accepted by people for the payment of goods and services, as well as the repayment of loans. Day by day, more and more settlement methods appear to meet the demands of consumers. Nowadays, purchasers prefer to use debit/credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. From my perspective, we still have many situations when physical payment is more beneficial than the others.
6.5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
The ageing population is now one of the controversial issues that people like debating about. Some people consider that it can lead to negative effects on the government, whereas others argue that those who are older have more benefits to society. I strongly agree with the view elderly people can bring out drawbacks to the government more than advantages.
8
band
Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?
Habitat activists are deeply worried about water contamination in the world which has significant influences either on human or animal communities. Self-evidently there are several reasons contributing to this issue along with some drastic long-term effects.
7.5
band
The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, as society rapidly transitions to the digital era, cybercrime has become a serious problem. I partly agree that the government should control the internet. However, there are some issues to consider besides its negative effects.
6.5
band
You recently discovered that there are plans to build a new airport in your area and you are not happy with it. Write a letter to the local authority. In your letter, Say how you found out about the plans Explain what problems your neighborhood will face Suggest some possible solutions to those problems.
I am writing this letter to express my honest opinion regarding the newly proposed airport project in Delta community region.

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

A 'cashless society' is one where people use debit/credit cards and other forms of payment instead of cash. Do the advantages of a cashless society outweigh the disadvantages?

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

The government should control the Internet to reduce cyber crime and ensure safety of users. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?