Some people think only parents are responsible for teaching children how to behave. Others think the main responsibility lies with schools and the government. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people argue that the responsibility to instil good behaviours in
children
can only be done by parents, while
others say that government and educational institutions are the main actors which are responsible to ensure
Change preposition
for ensuring
children
follow society's norms and rules. Although
those institutions can contribute to children
's positive attitudes, I believe parenting play
a more predominant role.
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
In
Change preposition
On
one
hand, educational institutions can play a key role Correct article usage
the one
to teach
Change preposition
in teaching
children
how to behave with education programs and curricula. For example
, in Indonesia, primary school students are taught how to stand in line, respect their peers and teachers, and tidy up their class
when they finish their lessons. At the same time, the Indonesian government has supported what schools do Fix the agreement mistake
classes
through
providing sufficient Change preposition
by
fundings
and issuing necessary regulations Fix the agreement mistake
funding
such
as anti-bullying.
On the other hand
, parents are the first teacher
of Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
behaviour
for their children
. In fact, they can set a foundation for good behaviour
in children
during their formative years. Primary care givers
can show their Correct your spelling
caregivers
children
how to respect each other in their family and they can also
model how to say please, thank you, or how to apologize if mistakes were made. In addition
, parents also
can continuously reinforce positive attitudes and address negative ones in their children
. As a result
, children
can learn appropriate ways to behave and interact with other people.
In conclusion, although
school
and governments can influence Fix the agreement mistake
schools
children
positive Change noun form
children's
behaviour
, primary caregivers are more responsible in
instilling good Change preposition
for
behaviour
because they can set the foundation for it during children
's formative years.Submitted by hsmkashi on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your argument is balanced by discussing both views in equal depth before giving your opinion. Your essay leans slightly more towards the parental influence without equally weighing the opposing viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Integrate a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments. While the examples given are relevant, adding more could further strengthen your points, especially for the opposing viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the flow of your essay. Using a variety of linking phrases can make the progression of arguments smoother.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present and effective, working on the clarity of your thesis statement and conclusion summary could make your stance and the essay's structure even clearer.