Today, many people around the globe adapt the Korean culture too much. What problem is associated with this? What can be done about this?

Currently, in all parts of the world, numerous individuals extremely tend to adjust
Korean
Change preposition
to Korean
show examples
culture
.
This
essay will talk
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about the factors which contribute and the solutions in
order
to tackle
this
problem. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot of reasons why
Correct article usage
a greatly
show examples
greatly
Change the word
great
show examples
number
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
do adaptations about
Korean
culture
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. One important reason is industry influence. Nowadays, entertainment productions obtain popularity around the world through several good quality programs
such
as K-dramas, talk shows and K-Pops.
As a result
, they
succesfully
Correct your spelling
successfully
attract
interest
Correct article usage
the interest
show examples
and attention
local
Change preposition
of local
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and foreign people.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
Fashion
and
beauty
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
also
contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
case.
Because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Korea has greatly innovative and
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
products both
fashion
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
beauty
care
such
as skincare, haircare
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc., in
order
to assist someone in caring
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
.
This
phenomenon
also
leads to influence
Verb problem
influences
show examples
someone's personal preference in
order
to choose
fashion
or
beauty
care which suitable for them. In
order
to solve
this
situation, there are several possible solutions.
First
Add an article
The first
A first
show examples
alternative solution is
encouraging
Change the verb form
to encourage
show examples
diversity of local
culture
. We can do
this
by emphasizing the importance of the existence of local
culture
and tradition through conducting cultural
seminar
Fix the agreement mistake
seminars
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
Secondly
, supporting art and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
of local
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
also
can contribute in
this
case. Local people can
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
efforts by promoting original
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
and heritage through
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
and study
tour
Fix the agreement mistake
tours
show examples
in regional museums for students.
Finally
,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation can still know and
proud
Add a missing verb
be proud
show examples
of their local
culture
instead
of foreign
culture
like
Korean
customs. In conclusion, the reasons behind the trends to adapt
korean
Change the capitalization
Korean
show examples
customs in all the parts of the world are industry influence and
fashion
and
beauty
trends.
While
possible solution in
order
to solve
this
problem
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
encouraging diversity of local
culture
and emphasizing art and local customs.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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language variation
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content depth
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your point more compelling.
structure improvement
Work on improving the overall structure of your paragraphs for better flow and clarity. Each paragraph should clearly present and support a single idea.
grammatical accuracy
Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and to refine your choice of words for clearer expression.
introduction clarity
You effectively introduced the topic and outlined the essay's structure in the introduction.
effective conclusion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the essay's main points and restates the importance of the topic.
topic understanding
You demonstrated a good understanding of the essay topic and addressed both parts of the prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Homogenization
  • Assimilation
  • Cultural exchange
  • Appreciation
  • Respect
  • Preservation
  • Balance
  • Embrace
  • Integration
  • Promote
  • Educate
  • Authentic
  • Commercialization
  • Sustainability
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