Today, many people around the globe adapt the Korean culture too much. What problem is associated with this? What can be done about this?

#people #globe #korean #culture

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Currently, in all parts of the world, numerous individuals extremely tend to adjust

Use synonyms

Korean

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to Korean

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culture

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This

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essay will talk

over

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apply

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about the factors which contribute and the solutions in

order

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to tackle

this

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problem. There

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are

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a lot of reasons why

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a greatly

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greatly

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great

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number

people

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of people

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do adaptations about

Korean

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culture

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in their

life

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lives

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. One important reason is industry influence. Nowadays, entertainment productions obtain popularity around the world through several good quality programs

such

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as K-dramas, talk shows and K-Pops.

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, they

succesfully

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successfully

attract

interest

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the interest

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and attention

local

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of local

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and foreign people.

Futhermore

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Furthermore

Fashion

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and

beauty

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trend

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trends

show examples

also

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contribute

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show examples

this

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case.

Because

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apply

show examples

Korea has greatly innovative and

high quality

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high-quality

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products both

fashion

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Correct word choice

and

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beauty

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care

such

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as skincare, haircare

and

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apply

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etc., in

order

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to assist someone in caring

their

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for their

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appearence

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appearance

This

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phenomenon

also

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leads to influence

Verb problem

influences

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someone's personal preference in

order

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to choose

fashion

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beauty

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care which suitable for them. In

order

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to solve

this

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situation, there are several possible solutions.

First

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The first

A first

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alternative solution is

encouraging

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to encourage

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diversity of local

culture

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. We can do

this

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by emphasizing the importance of the existence of local

culture

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and tradition through conducting cultural

seminar

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seminars

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and

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apply

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etc.

Secondly

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, supporting art and

variety

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a variety

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of local

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culture

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cultures

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also

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can contribute in

this

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case. Local people can

take

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make

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efforts by promoting original

tradition

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traditions

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and heritage through

festival

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festivals

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and study

tour

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tours

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in regional museums for students.

Finally

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young

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the young

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generation can still know and

proud

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be proud

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of their local

culture

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instead

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of foreign

culture

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Korean

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customs. In conclusion, the reasons behind the trends to adapt

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korean

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Korean

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customs in all the parts of the world are industry influence and

fashion

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and

beauty

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trends.

While

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possible solution in

order

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to solve

this

Linking Words

problem

are

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show examples

encouraging diversity of local

culture

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and emphasizing art and local customs.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Mon Feb 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language variation

Try to avoid repeating phrases and work on varying your language to keep the essay engaging.

content depth

Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your point more compelling.

structure improvement

Work on improving the overall structure of your paragraphs for better flow and clarity. Each paragraph should clearly present and support a single idea.

grammatical accuracy

Consider revising for grammatical accuracy and to refine your choice of words for clearer expression.

introduction clarity

You effectively introduced the topic and outlined the essay's structure in the introduction.

effective conclusion

Your conclusion successfully summarizes the essay's main points and restates the importance of the topic.

topic understanding

You demonstrated a good understanding of the essay topic and addressed both parts of the prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Globalization
Homogenization
Assimilation
Cultural exchange
Appreciation
Respect
Preservation
Balance
Embrace
Integration
Promote
Educate
Authentic
Commercialization
Sustainability

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Today, many people around the globe adapt the Korean culture too much. What problem is associated with this? What can be done about this?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that non-academic subjects at school should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Men do most of the high-level jobs. Should the government encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women? What is your opinion on that?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would be little effects on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people used to travel abroad, so look for a minute differences from their home country. Nowadays cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons do the advantages of the disadvantages?