Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

#people #parks #sports #facilities #centers #town #time #doo

There are who

people

Add a missing verb

are concern

show examples

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

it is

significanly

Correct your spelling

significant

significantly

to provide

parks

and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

areas

instead

of built mall

areas

in new

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

for

people

spend

Fix the infinitive

to spend

show examples

their

relax

Replace the word

relaxing

show examples

time. In my

prespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

, I agree with

this

statement because it will help

people

not only have a

relax

Change the verb form

relaxing

show examples

time but

also

have a

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

life and economical. Establishing

parks

and

sports

areas

will be the best ever plan for a better

relax

Replace the word

relaxing

show examples

time for

people

Parks

and

sports

will be green and

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

space

Fix the agreement mistake

spaces

show examples

for

people

to find a

peace

Replace the word

peaceful

show examples

and calm place after they have a busy day. They will spend half of the day with something different

with before

Change preposition

from

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

what they

show examples

do in daily life.

For example

, if they have many

sports

and

parks

Fix the agreement mistake

park

show examples

areas

they will

strolling

Wrong verb form

stroll

show examples

around the park and

make

Verb problem

show examples

a little

exerice

Correct your spelling

exercise

so they will reduce the

strees

Correct your spelling

stress

get from work.

Moreover

Parks

and

sports

areas

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

economical rather

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a shopping

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

. If they go to

shopping

Correct article usage

a shopping

show examples

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

people

tend to spend a lot of money and make they

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

strees

Correct your spelling

stressed

because they will

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

buy what they want not

they

Correct pronoun usage

what they

show examples

need.

For instance

people

with

strees

Correct your spelling

stress

from work will think they have to reward themselves as

achievment

Correct your spelling

achievement

so they will

over buying

Wrong verb form

buy

show examples

and forget to save their money.

To sum up

, developing

parks

and

sports

areas

is a good choice because it is beneficial to help

people

have a

healty

Correct your spelling

healthy

life and

also

it is economical.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Mon Feb 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Focus on refining your essay structure. Develop a clear and concise introduction that outlines your argument, followed by well-structured paragraphs each dedicated to a specific point, and conclude with a summary of your views.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will help your essay flow better and make your arguments easier to follow.

task achievement

Ensure your essay fully addresses the prompt. Expand on your points by providing more detailed examples and explanations. Your response should clearly communicate your position and the reasoning behind it.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Varied sentence structures and accurate grammar can significantly impact the readability and professionalism of your essay.

task achievement

Try to include real-life examples or statistical evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

244 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The process of producing edible oils and fats, and margarine.

Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem? "

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last 10 years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Some children can learn more efficiently by watching TV. Therefore, children should watch TV regularly both in school and at home? Do you agree or disagree?