In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a confusing problem
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
between the olds
andyoungs
Correct your spelling
and youngs
and young
who play a more vital role in society.
This
author is comprehensive for youth
due to
their
health
and enthusiasm.
Firstly
, there is an undeniable point that young
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
have enough
health
and
time
to dedicate to society.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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young age, everyone will have a lot of
time
and
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to work and study because they do not need to be responsible for taking care of
family
Correct pronoun usage
their family
show examples
or having economic and social
burden
Fix the agreement mistake
burdens
show examples
.
Thus
, young
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
would be beneficial to the countries.
Moreover
,
due to
the dense strength, the young can join in some community services
such
as donating money, volunteering or caring
disable
Change preposition
for disabled
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. So, the role of young
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
is
unreplaceable
Correct your spelling
irreplaceable
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In terms of old age, they seem to be more wiser and better than the young owing to their
life
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
time
. The old could be the best
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
for the young with their knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
professionals in which they help the young to develop their subjects and avoid some unpredictable mistakes in the future. What is
mor
Correct your spelling
more
, the old
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
really rich
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
social skills which their counterparts can learn from without any experiment of
fallure
Correct your spelling
failure
.
However
, because of their
health
and busy
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, the old cannot work enthusiastically like young people. Not only the lack of
health
but
also
the over self-esteem can be a problem to the old that they are not flexible and effective in working when compared to the young.
Hence
, the young is more important in culture with the superiority of
health
and
time
. In conclusion,
although
old age can be more professional and experienced in working
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they are inadequate in the
health
,
time
and enthusiasm which the young own characteristically.
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structure
Work on developing a stronger, more coherent essay structure. Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction that outlines the topics you will discuss, as well as more defined paragraphs that each focus on a separate idea.
detail
Ensure your main points are well-supported with specific examples or evidence. Your arguments will be more convincing and your essay more compelling if each point you make is clearly illustrated with examples or more in-depth explanation.
complexity
Avoid generalized statements and strive for more complexity in your analysis. Discussing the nuances of each viewpoint and acknowledging potential counterarguments can add depth to your essay.
accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors, as they can distract from your message. Consider using tools or additional proofreading to minimize these errors in your writing.
balance
Consider balancing your discussion more evenly between the two views before presenting your own. This approach will demonstrate your ability to engage with multiple perspectives, which is a key aspect of the task.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • experience
  • elders
  • authority
  • historical continuity
  • innovation
  • energy
  • adaptability
  • progress
  • modernization
  • technological advancement
  • intergenerational learning
  • cooperation
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