In some places old age is valued, while other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Whether which
generation
should be high- rated
in some cultures Correct your spelling
high-rated
such
as the elder
or the young. The author contends that there should be Replace the word
elderly
balance
between the new and the old that will not lead to some detrimental consequences Add an article
a balance
such
as discrimination while
others argue that one
of two generations should be valued.
The reason why many individuals believe that older people is
paid more attention is that they affect directly Change the verb form
are
to
the lifespan Change preposition
apply
rate
of a country
. In other words
, people can assess a country
’s development through the rate
of how much the old populating in some specific fields such
as medication, living
conditions. Correct word choice
and living
Consequently
, the government focuses on the precious one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
instead
of the youth, even though the noticeable
discrepancy between Correct article usage
a noticeable
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
rate
and death rate
.
Whereas
others argue that the young generation
should be the priority of a developing country
. As they may think the new generation
is the future of that culture, thus
, if they may have a good educational foundation and well- being
development in both mental and physical health, they will contribute whatever they can to show their grateful attitude. Correct your spelling
well-being
In contrast
, if they are
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
those conditions, they will have a diverse impact on Change preposition
apply
nation’s
economy and society.
The writer’s opinion is that both Correct article usage
the nation’s
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
generation
should be balanced Change to a plural noun
generations
instead
of opting which
Change preposition
for which
one
is more valued. What the author means is focusing on one
generation
too much can lead to the imbalance of a culture, human
have to learn and gain experience from the old and utilize it for the future as Fix the agreement mistake
humans
the
innovation. Unless the community kept using the former method, that Correct article usage
apply
country
would be hardly developed. Moreover
, the priority heads to one
of the two age
can Fix the agreement mistake
ages
also
cause discrimination and conflict between them and even break the unity of a country
.
Taking all points into account, despite the other people advocate
that Wrong verb form
advocating
one
of the generations should be considered more vital, while
the writer thinks that it should Correct word choice
apply
be balance
Change the verb form
be balanced
as
not Correct word choice
so as
causing
some negative effects.Change the verb form
to cause
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure logical progression in your arguments. Begin with a clear introductory paragraph that states both views and your stance. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea with clear topic sentences. Transition words can help show the relationship between ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, make your thesis statement clearer in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your stance from the beginning. Provide more specific examples to support each point; this will make your argument stronger and more persuasive. Remember to directly address the prompt by discussing both views thoroughly before presenting your own viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.