In some places old age is valued, while other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Whether which
generation
should be
high- rated
Correct your spelling
high-rated
show examples
in some cultures
such
as the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
or the young. The author contends that there should be
balance
Add an article
a balance
show examples
between the new and the old that will not lead to some detrimental consequences
such
as discrimination
while
others argue that
one
of two generations should be valued. The reason why many individuals believe that older people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
paid more attention is that they affect directly
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lifespan
rate
of a
country
.
In other words
, people can assess a
country
’s development through the
rate
of how much the old populating in some specific fields
such
as medication,
living
Correct word choice
and living
show examples
conditions.
Consequently
, the government focuses on the precious
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
instead
of the youth, even though the
noticeable
Correct article usage
a noticeable
show examples
discrepancy between
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
and death
rate
.
Whereas
others argue that the young
generation
should be the priority of a developing
country
. As they may think the new
generation
is the future of that culture,
thus
, if they may have a good educational foundation and
well- being
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
development in both mental and physical health, they will contribute whatever they can to show their grateful attitude.
In contrast
, if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those conditions, they will have a diverse impact on
nation’s
Correct article usage
the nation’s
show examples
economy and society. The writer’s opinion is that both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
show examples
should be balanced
instead
of opting
which
Change preposition
for which
show examples
one
is more valued. What the author means is focusing on
one
generation
too much can lead to the imbalance of a culture,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
have to learn and gain experience from the old and utilize it for the future as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovation. Unless the community kept using the former method, that
country
would be hardly developed.
Moreover
, the priority heads to
one
of the two
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
can
also
cause discrimination and conflict between them and even break the unity of a
country
. Taking all points into account, despite the other people
advocate
Wrong verb form
advocating
show examples
that
one
of the generations should be considered more vital,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the writer thinks that it should
be balance
Change the verb form
be balanced
show examples
as
Correct word choice
so as
show examples
not
causing
Change the verb form
to cause
show examples
some negative effects.

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure logical progression in your arguments. Begin with a clear introductory paragraph that states both views and your stance. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea with clear topic sentences. Transition words can help show the relationship between ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
To enhance task achievement, make your thesis statement clearer in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your stance from the beginning. Provide more specific examples to support each point; this will make your argument stronger and more persuasive. Remember to directly address the prompt by discussing both views thoroughly before presenting your own viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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