In some places old age is valued while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In some sites,
elderliness
is appreciated, whereas
in other cultures younger generation
is deliberated more crucial. This
essay will argure
both sides and I personally believe that Correct your spelling
argue
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
generation
may have a special place in the
modern society. On the one hand, it is undeniable Correct article usage
apply
to admit
that Verb problem
apply
elderlies
play an Fix the agreement mistake
the elderly
indispendable
role in Correct your spelling
important
the
society. They Correct article usage
apply
are
not only have Unnecessary verb
apply
the
long time to deal with their particular jobs but Correct article usage
a
also
they
have myriad experiences Correct pronoun usage
apply
about
their field. It can be easy to explain that after many times they have gotten problems, they can have the moral lessons so that many companies always hold and respect the Change preposition
in
elderliness
in the higher position because they have a wide range of knowledge and experiences so many people trust for their responsibility and ability. On the other hand
, with the development of technology, youngsters
can easily approach and access that without confusion and embarrassment. Although
they do not have enough experience, they may have adequate knowledge or more than the older generation
. Approaching technologies early is the benefit to face and tackle with the modern 4.0 era. For example
, many workplaces starts
using technologies to reduce and cut down some unnecessarities so they need Change the verb form
start
youngsters
who study and have the knowledge about operating the technologies may be prominent. I personally agree that youngsters
hold the
special position as old age. Correct article usage
a
However
, with the rapid development nowadays, having computer skill
or skills relevant to utilizing technology is crucial so Fix the agreement mistake
skills
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
generation
may have more advantage
than Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
elderliness
. Hence
, if both of them can coordinate together, it can be the perfect combination to make the
society become better and better. In conclusion, both Correct article usage
apply
elderliness
and youngster
are worth being esteemed. Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
However
Add a comma
However,
youngsters
tend to hold the
special position in Correct article usage
a
this
technological era.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting details or examples. Add transition words to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
Task Response
For Task Response, ensure you are answering all parts of the question fully. Your opinion is clear, but make sure to discuss both views thoroughly before stating your opinion. Strengthening your opinion with more specific examples can also help.
General Writing Improvement
In general, work on refining your introduction and conclusion. Both should clearly state the topic and your position. The conclusion should briefly summarize the views discussed and restate your opinion.
General Writing Improvement
Pay attention to repetition in your vocabulary and structure. Try to vary your language more to avoid repeating the same phrases, which can enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion