In some places old age is valued while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some sites,
elderliness
is appreciated,
whereas
in other cultures younger
generation
is deliberated more crucial.
This
essay will
argure
Correct your spelling
argue
both sides and I personally believe that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation
may have a special place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern society. On the one hand, it is undeniable
to admit
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
elderlies
Fix the agreement mistake
the elderly
show examples
play an
indispendable
Correct your spelling
important
role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. They
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
long time to deal with their particular jobs but
also
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have myriad experiences
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
their field. It can be easy to explain that after many times they have gotten problems, they can have the moral lessons so that many companies always hold and respect the
elderliness
in the higher position because they have a wide range of knowledge and experiences so many people trust for their responsibility and ability.
On the other hand
, with the development of technology,
youngsters
can easily approach and access that without confusion and embarrassment.
Although
they do not have enough experience, they may have adequate knowledge or more than the older
generation
. Approaching technologies early is the benefit to face and tackle with the modern 4.0 era.
For example
, many workplaces
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
using technologies to reduce and cut down some unnecessarities so they need
youngsters
who study and have the knowledge about operating the technologies may be prominent. I personally agree that
youngsters
hold
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
special position as old age.
However
, with the rapid development nowadays, having computer
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
or skills relevant to utilizing technology is crucial so
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation
may have more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
than
elderliness
.
Hence
, if both of them can coordinate together, it can be the perfect combination to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society become better and better. In conclusion, both
elderliness
and
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
are worth being esteemed.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
youngsters
tend to hold
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
special position in
this
technological era.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting details or examples. Add transition words to guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
Task Response
For Task Response, ensure you are answering all parts of the question fully. Your opinion is clear, but make sure to discuss both views thoroughly before stating your opinion. Strengthening your opinion with more specific examples can also help.
General Writing Improvement
In general, work on refining your introduction and conclusion. Both should clearly state the topic and your position. The conclusion should briefly summarize the views discussed and restate your opinion.
General Writing Improvement
Pay attention to repetition in your vocabulary and structure. Try to vary your language more to avoid repeating the same phrases, which can enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: