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Writing Samples /
Band 3

An increasing number of professionals such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #situation
In my opinion, deforestation is right and wrong: people move to big cities from rural areas to gain access to all the amenities of urban areas.
As a consequence
, forests that are home to millions of creatures are being destroyed for infrastructure purposes.
Moreover
,
due to
 global warming, many countries have to face extreme climate changes.
For example
, heat waves have become a major cause of fires, and lack of rain can lead to drought in many areas and cities. Most of the forests are cut down in villages, because there are always few people there, when people spoil the forest, the climate
is
Verb problem
becomes
show examples
 very hot and there are problems in the country
Submitted by muradismailbayli on

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Task Achievement
Your response does not directly address the given topic about professionals leaving poorer countries to work in developed ones. It's important to closely read the task prompt and ensure your essay directly answers the questions posed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to clearly structure your essay with an introduction that presents the topic, body paragraphs that discuss specific points, and a conclusion that summarizes your views. This will help improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
It is critical to support your main points with relevant examples or explanations. While you discuss deforestation, it does not relate to the question of professionals moving to developed countries. Make sure your examples directly support your arguments and are relevant to the questions asked.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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